Balance

I keep saying that I'm going to start writing again, but I feel like this time it is going to stick. When I was first coming out, I wrote a lot and it helped me process what I was feeling. I'm looking to do the same now. I have noticed that I'm starting to struggle with living in NYC. It throws me off balance and brings out the best and worst in me. I've always known that I need to escape the city, but now it is becoming more and more necessary. Every weekend, I want to get out. I want need to be in nature.

I learned this lesson on my recent escape from NYC to Switzerland. Switzerland was one of the most gorgeous places I have ever visited. There were mountains, streams, lakes, waterfalls, rolling hills, fields of flowers, delectable food, lovely people, and so much more. I spent four of my days hiking in the Swiss Alps. One day, I sat down next to a waterfall and contemplated and reflected on my life. The next day, it was on top of a mountain. Another day, it was on a cliff side. The last day was swimming in a glacial lake. I discovered that I love and hate NYC. This is nothing new to me, but I didn't realize it was so polarized now. There used to be areas of grey, but now those grey areas are starting to turn into black and white. I don't want this to happen and I'm trying to figure out how to turn those areas into grey again and be fully happy living in this city again--I have at least 4 more years here.

I also learned that I need to be in nature or near a lot of nature to have the best balance. My elements are water and earth. Those things bring me the most happiness and connect me the most with nature and God. Switzerland was perfect for this connection. I was so at peace and so joyous during this time. I was able to think about my worries, life, goals, morals, values, beliefs, etc. with a clear and open mind. But once I returned to NYC, I lost sight of some of those insights. I'm desperately trying to maintain those insights and find balance.

These are a some tasks that I'm working on to maintain my balance and keep insight flowing:

1. Stick with swimming on the master's swim team (I have practice tonight)
2. Spend less time on social media and the Internet
3. Leave the city for nature at least once a month
4. Read more
5. Wake up earlier to have "me" time with no interruptions
6. Consider going to church again
7. Focus on what's most important in my life... family, friends, and loved ones

I hope that things will fall into place and my life will become balanced again.