Returning to Zion

When I was younger, I couldn't wait to get out of my hometown. For twenty-two years, I had never been away for longer than two weeks, and I hated that. Feelings of loathing, boredom, being trapped, and much more were constantly upon me. I couldn't help thinking that I was better than my hometown and that I could do better than the small town I lived in. It took me moving far away from home for a couple of years to realize that I actually love my hometown and the people who call it home.

Yesterday, I went out to lunch with a close friend. As I was driving to meet her, I drove past my elementary, middle, and high schools, the swimming pool, my university, and many restaurants and businesses that I used to frequent. Very few changes have been made, but you could still see a constant change to make a better, stronger community. It was fun to see my old stomping grounds and memories came flooding back to me. Most of them were happy memories, and some of them were not so happy memories. I remembered when my swimmers won multiple regional and state championships, my own swimming days where I trained many hours each day, walking up to seminary, my "freshmen fan club," falling in love with the human body in Mrs. A's class, my first crush, all the times I went sledding, the places I would go when I was sad and needed to cry, and some serious conversations I had with close friends. Memory after memory came back to me during my drive, and I am grateful that I have so many good memories from growing up.

When I arrived at the restaurant and saw my friend, I couldn't believe how much I missed her. It was so good to see her, catch up on our lives, and reminisce about swimming, friends, and shared experiences. During our lunch and my drive to and from the restaurant, I realized that I do love and miss my hometown. I'm grateful that I grew up in a place where I could be a kid and a place that allowed for a relatively easy transition into adulthood. My hometown helped shape me into the man that I am today through all of the good and bad experiences that I have had, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

To Gun or Not to Gun?

There is a certain type of person in medical school called gunners. They are an interesting group. It is full of overachievers who have to know everything and get a 100% on every test. Their natural habitat is in the library with their nose in a physiology book and going to every class. They very rarely leave campus and they never go out with friends. There is just too much to study and learn! Most medical students look down on gunners because they make everyone look bad, but secretly most students want to have as much knowledge as the gunners. There is no other medical student like the gunner.

I have never been labelled as one of the types of medical students you commonly see. The closest that I have come to is the prankster. It is true that I like to joke around and play practical jokes on people, but being the medical school prankster is more than that and I don't think I fit the bill. That leaves me with a personality that doesn't match up with the types of medical students, which I am completely fine with; I don't like falling into stereotypes.

You might ask, "why is he even talking about this then?" Well, that is a very good question. Recently, I have been labelled as a gunner. At first, I had a gut reaction of denying it and not wanting to be a gunner. I'm a prankster, remember? I can't be a gunner! Anything but a gunner! After yesterday, I've come to terms with being a gunner and will proudly accept the title with a few stipulations.

Yesterday, my histology group gave a presentation and most people in our class have been talking about how we are all gunners. They said that our presentation was one of the best given and that we were able to answer all of the questions asked with relatively few problems. I took pride in those statements. We all worked hard and we wanted to impress the doctor grading our presentation. All of our hard work paid off and the doctor said that we gave an excellent presentation.

If a gunner is about working hard, knowing the material, taking pride in your work, and doing well, then sign me up because I'm a gunner!

Letter to My Cadaver

Dear Dean,

I don't know what to say except for thank you. You have taught me so much about myself, anatomy, and the beauty of the human body. Also, you brought me and my five other labmates together. For all of this, I am eternally grateful that you would be so kind and willing to donate your body for my education.

I remember the first day that I met you. It was the first day of anatomy and it was a special moment for me, a moment I have looked forward to for many years. The excitement was high as I stood there in my scrubs and smock. Dr. Laitman was speaking to the class in the microphone, but I couldn’t pay attention. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally gave us permission to reveal your body. I looked down on your body. You were on your back and were pale, gray, and clammy. The stench of the preservatives wafted into my nostrils and filled the room. This was the first smell of the scent that I would come to hate. We prepared our tools as we waited for permission to start cutting into the skin on your back. The six of us each took turns cutting and removing the skin and fat from your back. As we removed the fat, we found your beautiful muscles. This was the first view of your stunning innards. We finished that day looking at most of the back muscles.

As the days and weeks progressed, we explored every inch of your body. We found and dissected your heart, lungs, liver, splanchnic nerves, brain, celiac trunk, Prince Saphenous the Great, tongue, kidneys with simple renal cysts, aorta, greater omentum, azygos vein, carina, your glorious GI tract, and so much more.

My favorite days that I spent with you were when we cut into your abdomen and discovered your GI tract. It was beautiful, yet challenging to work with and it pushed me to my limits. When we removed your rectus abdominis, it was magical to see your greater omentum. It was an apron of fat protecting your intestines from our view and mechanical damage. As we moved the omentum, your intestines were beautiful to behold. I loved holding your intestines in my hand, squishing the digested food, opening both the large and small intestines, and handling your haustra and epiploic appendages. But during the removal of your GI tract is when I almost threw up into you. We never found your appendix and the six of us agreed that you must have had it removed, even though we couldn't find a scar.

The days that we spent with you are special to me and I will cherish my memories from them. I will never forget you and all that you have taught me. Thank you again for letting me meet you and for letting me get to know you better than most of your friends and family.

Respectfully,
Sean

First Semester Done!

I successfully finished my first semester of medical school and graduate school (I realize that this is about a month late). The first semester was definitely a difficult one, but I pulled through with great grades in all of my classes. I am extremely happy with how the semester went and everything that I learned about science, healthcare, medicine, life, and myself.

These are some of the lessons that I learned:

1. I hate muscles and nerves
2. I can take breaks and not study as much as I do
3. I need to find more balance in my life or in other words, escape the library and have some fun
4. I'm in love the GI tract
5. Surgery doesn't interest me
6. Making best friends takes time, but once you make them, they'll always be around
7. Some people don't respect you unless you went to an Ivy League
8. Always make time for loved ones
9. NYC has some of the best food around
10. I like to stress bake and cook... Mmmm, pie!
11. Everyone isn't the same in medical school and we're actually all very different
12. Exercise is a must that needs to happen more often
13. I love teaching the more that I do it
14. Don't let people to bring you down
15. Be confident because I know more and have more ability than I think

That's about it. I'm hoping to blog more regularly. It's one of my goals. XOXO. S.