Polyamory

I have found myself in an interesting predicament that I thought that I would never consider or be ok with. I think that I'm potentially entering a polyamorous relationship. Polyamory is basically the practice of forming close, intimate relationships with more than one partner with the knowledge and consent of all the partners. It's slightly different than polygamy, but similar. It looks like I'm heading back to my Mormon roots!

A couple months ago, I met a man who has a long-term, serious relationship with his boyfriend. At first meeting, I found him very attractive, but knew he had a boyfriend and left it at that. We chatted a lot at our first meeting and found out that we have a lot in common. We exchanged number and decided to hang out more often. We started texting every day and quickly hit it off. We talk about serious and silly things all the time and have connected on a fairly deep level. He and I have gone out a couple times and they feel like dates. We both remark how crazy it is how much we have in common and how close we have become. Recently, it has started to get intimate, where the last two times we have kissed at the end of our hang out/date. He has also been a huge support to me with everything that has been going on. 

That's where we stand now. We haven't talked about what we are. At first, I was thinking it was a potential friends with benefits situation, but the connection is much deeper than that and it doesn't feel superficial. We haven't really even talked about his boyfriend and what is kosher in their relationship. But from what I have gathered from friends, their relationship is at least partially open, but I'm not sure of the level and if they are actually polyamorous or not. I've decided not to broach the topic because I like what we have and I feel like it is good--I don't want to ruin it. If there is there is a problem or if we are crossing a line, I'm sure that this guy would bring it up and tell me that it is beyond the boundaries he and his boyfriend have set. Most importantly throughout this time, I have felt loved and supported, and I don't feel like the other man/mister.

I never saw myself ever being in this situation--sharing someone who I'm developing a strong connection with someone else. I thought that I would be jealous, but I'm not. I'm perfectly fine with everything and where it currently stands. I want to see how this all pans out.

The formation of this "relationship" could be a product of the circumstances I'm in:

• I still don't want to date anyone seriously after JP or attempt to date or enter a relationship. I'm not ready to emotionally invest in another relationship and watch it fall apart again. 
• I thought that I was not fully over JP, but have realized that I am and just wanted someone to connect with through the cancer with my mother because I've felt alone. 
• I've got a lot on my plate with finishing my PhD, preparing for my return to medical school, and helping out my family with my mom. It's just not a good time to even try to start a relationship, even if I was ready. 
• I have thought a lot about me being a lone wolf. I am happy and content being alone. I love to do a lot of things alone because it allows me to do my own things on my own time. There is no pressure of another person. 
• I still see myself raising a family on my own without a husband, if I do not find anyone.
• I recognize that in two years I will most likely be moving west and starting a relationship with someone anchored in NYC or somewhere in the east is less than ideal for me and my goals.

Anyway, I'm very happy with my life right now. This potential polyamorous relationship is just icing on the cake. When I'm ready, I will start going on dates again and be fully honest with this guy. We will see what the future holds for me.