Today has been a day of highs and lows. I first felt amazing with my grade on my physiology final and then when I was studying, I felt perfectly fine. I felt like I really needed to go the retirement center, where I volunteer at least one a week, today. I wasn't planning on going, but I know that it was worth it--even though I feel like crap after going.
Today, I met a brand new lady who just moved into the center. I'll call her Lucille. As, I was waiting to help out with the activity. She walked past the room I'm sitting in three times bawling her eyes out. After the third pass, I walked up to her and started talking to her. At first, she was very standoffish because she thought I was a worker there. Then when she found out that I was just a visitor, she warmed up to me. I asked why she was crying and what I could do to help. She then went into a rant and a rave about how she hated living in the center and how lonely she was. She had only been there for a week and she said that nobody liked her and nobody would visit her. Instead of helping with the activity, I took her for a walk. She ranted and raved the whole time and kept telling me the same things over and over again (I'm pretty sure that she has Alzheimer's) . I sat and listened to her quietly. I felt so bad for her. I wanted to cry with her, but I held back my tears to show her that everything will be okay or at least I hoped so.
I'm not sure if this is true or not, but she told me that her family tricked her into coming to Utah--she was supposed to live with her daughter here. She lived there for a week before they took her to the center. This story wanted to make me cry even more--she felt like a prisoner. After our walk, we went up to her room. I have been in other rooms and they are usually decorated and nice. Her room had a bed and a TV. That was it. Her family really didn't provide her with anything to make her room look nicer. We sat and watched an episode of "I Love Lucy" and then it was time for dinner. I usually go when it's dinner time because I'm not allowed to eat with them, unless I want to pay. I walked her down to the dining room and was telling her goodbye. She then burst into tears again because she said that she didn't want me to leave. I told her that I would stay and I paid for my dinner. It was really good to be there for her. Then when I really had to leave after dinner, I hated telling her that I had to go. I told her about my finals and the test I have to take tomorrow and she grudgingly said goodbye to me. I gave her a big hug and told her that I'd be back to visit her.
I think one good thing came out of me leaving when I did. There was another lady who I'll call Myrna who came up to ask me about this new lady. I introduced them and I think that they went for a walk together--I'm not sure because I left after I introduced them. I hope that they did because Myrna will be a good friend to her and hopefully help her make some friends. I'm glad that I decided to go instead of staying at school and studying because I know that I might have made her life/day/week a little bit better by being there for her today.
I don't know why I still feel awful though. That whole situation put a damper on my day, even though I know what I did was good for her and for me.
Anyways, that's my sad story. Back to the books...
Annoyed
So it is finals week and everybody has decided to take over my beloved study grounds. UGH! I hate them. They drive me insane and are absolutely annoying. They take my favorite spots to study. They bring big groups of people who talk really loud in no talking zones--I don't mind them being there, but it's when they talk that puts me over the top. They take all of the computers. They bother you when you are trying to concentrate. UGH! Just shut up and leave me and my study areas alone! Please! I'm just trying to do well on my finals and study for the MCAT.
PS I totally rocked my Physiology final today--a 97%! Finals started off on a good foot! :)
PS I totally rocked my Physiology final today--a 97%! Finals started off on a good foot! :)
Surprises
I have been surprising myself a lot lately. These are just a few of my surprises (I might go into detail later).
- I've developed a crush on someone who I should not be crushing on
- I think that the person who I am crushing on is also crushing on me
- I told a very close friend something I never imagined telling her
- I'm going to tell someone else the same thing I told my friend
- I got a 33 on my practice MCAT on Saturday
- I can determine what kind of pain and what kind of bowel movement I'm going to have based on the sounds my stomach is making
- I snapped and said something I shouldn't have said to a mom of one of my swimmers (this was due to a lot of stress from my week of hell--four midterms and a paper all in one week)
- I have had an even stronger desire these past couple of weeks to go back east for medical school
- I am a very crafty person (the type of person who is good at making crafts)
- I find a strange peace in studying hard all day and night
Overly Stressed?
As many of you know, I have been still having problems with my Crohn's Disease. It's usually nothing too big, but lately it has been a huge problem. I never miss school--even when I was first diagnosed, I went to school when I was in severe pain. Then all of the sudden, the past couple of weeks have hit me like a brick and I've missed four days of school. Some mornings I wake up and feel like I have been hit by a car, train, or something. I can barely move because I'm in so much pain and/or I just feel so crappy that I don't want to get up--knowing that I have to. None of this is a good sign.
My doctor tells me that the medication I'm on is working just fine and that he can see no active Crohn's Disease. He has seen other potential problems but they are just potential and they should not be causing me that pain that I'm in. He even had the audacity to ask my mom if I was faking the pain just to get attention when I was knocked out with anesthetics. Thankfully my mom stuck up for me and put the doctor in his place. He thinks that I might be overly stressed. I took a stress test and everything came up fine. I will admit that I do have my fair levels of stress due to school and what not, but that is normal levels and it is usually every once in a while. I'm not sure if he thinks that I was lying on the test or not, but the only thing he thinks that is wrong with me is that I must be overly stressed and causing myself pain through IBS or small Crohn's flare-ups. He has given me IBS medication, but it has done nothing for me. I personally think that there is something more going on with my body. I shouldn't be feeling what I have been feeling for over a year now. It's really starting to bother me. I don't want to go take the MCAT when I'm feeling like crap because I know that I won't do as well. I need to do my best so I can get my 35 and go to one of my dream schools!
I've been trying to convince my mom to take me to another doctor, but she doesn't see the point. I think that I'm going to just go to one on my own so I can have another opinion. I think that there is something more wrong with me than the doctor thinks. UGH! Life sometimes really sucks.
What do you all think? Am I or do I seem overly stressed?
My doctor tells me that the medication I'm on is working just fine and that he can see no active Crohn's Disease. He has seen other potential problems but they are just potential and they should not be causing me that pain that I'm in. He even had the audacity to ask my mom if I was faking the pain just to get attention when I was knocked out with anesthetics. Thankfully my mom stuck up for me and put the doctor in his place. He thinks that I might be overly stressed. I took a stress test and everything came up fine. I will admit that I do have my fair levels of stress due to school and what not, but that is normal levels and it is usually every once in a while. I'm not sure if he thinks that I was lying on the test or not, but the only thing he thinks that is wrong with me is that I must be overly stressed and causing myself pain through IBS or small Crohn's flare-ups. He has given me IBS medication, but it has done nothing for me. I personally think that there is something more going on with my body. I shouldn't be feeling what I have been feeling for over a year now. It's really starting to bother me. I don't want to go take the MCAT when I'm feeling like crap because I know that I won't do as well. I need to do my best so I can get my 35 and go to one of my dream schools!
I've been trying to convince my mom to take me to another doctor, but she doesn't see the point. I think that I'm going to just go to one on my own so I can have another opinion. I think that there is something more wrong with me than the doctor thinks. UGH! Life sometimes really sucks.
What do you all think? Am I or do I seem overly stressed?
The MCAT
It's been a very long time since I've updated. There are so many things that I want to talk about, but so little time (I'm actually taking a break from studying for a midterm right now to write this). I'll probably do a huge post soon talking about all of the latest and greatest events in my life that have happened in the past couple of weeks, but for right now, I want to focus on the MCAT.
Oh the joys of the MCAT. The MCAT is in almost a month for me now! HOLY CRAP! I can't believe it's already coming so quickly. It seems like it was just yesterday that I started studying for it, but I've really been studying for almost three months now! A lot of people have been asking me if I'm nervous. The truth is that I'm really not very nervous at all. Sure there are a few things that I'm nervous about, but I have always known that I was meant to be a doctor and that I will go to medical school no matter what (that sounds cocky, but it's true). I have been studying really hard and I have been taking practice tests for it. So far, my best score has been a 29 (it's out of 45 for those of you who don't know). My goal score is a 35. Right now, I'm at a national average score, but my scores on the different sections do not so average at all. I'm way above average on both of the Physical Science and Biological Science sections. I'm in the 90th percentile on each of those sections. Verbal Reasoning, however, is a different story. I'm scoring in the 50th percentile. UGH! What the crap? It's so frustrating to me right now. Obviously I'm not stupid, but I just can't do the Verbal Reasoning section very well. I have been working on this and my Kaplan teacher has been helping me out with it. I'm hoping to get my score up to at least a 10 in this section. I guess it's more like I need to get my score up to a 10 in this section or else I'm not getting into medical school, even though I have a national average score.
So yeah... it's a month away and I need to seriously crack down and Verbal Reasoning and hone my skills on the Sciences to definitely get my goal score of a 35. I know that I can do it and I have a feeling that I'm going to beat it!
Well, I need to get back to studying. I still have two more test this week... :(
Oh the joys of the MCAT. The MCAT is in almost a month for me now! HOLY CRAP! I can't believe it's already coming so quickly. It seems like it was just yesterday that I started studying for it, but I've really been studying for almost three months now! A lot of people have been asking me if I'm nervous. The truth is that I'm really not very nervous at all. Sure there are a few things that I'm nervous about, but I have always known that I was meant to be a doctor and that I will go to medical school no matter what (that sounds cocky, but it's true). I have been studying really hard and I have been taking practice tests for it. So far, my best score has been a 29 (it's out of 45 for those of you who don't know). My goal score is a 35. Right now, I'm at a national average score, but my scores on the different sections do not so average at all. I'm way above average on both of the Physical Science and Biological Science sections. I'm in the 90th percentile on each of those sections. Verbal Reasoning, however, is a different story. I'm scoring in the 50th percentile. UGH! What the crap? It's so frustrating to me right now. Obviously I'm not stupid, but I just can't do the Verbal Reasoning section very well. I have been working on this and my Kaplan teacher has been helping me out with it. I'm hoping to get my score up to at least a 10 in this section. I guess it's more like I need to get my score up to a 10 in this section or else I'm not getting into medical school, even though I have a national average score.
So yeah... it's a month away and I need to seriously crack down and Verbal Reasoning and hone my skills on the Sciences to definitely get my goal score of a 35. I know that I can do it and I have a feeling that I'm going to beat it!
Well, I need to get back to studying. I still have two more test this week... :(
Tragedy
My life the past two days have been an utter tragedy! UGH! There have been so many things that have been going wrong and making life crappy. It all started yesterday...
Yesterday, I got a text from my mom telling me that I had got a package in the mail. I wasn't able to get home until 9:30 at night so I was excited all day. I knew exactly what it was--my black pair of jeans that I bought online on Saturday. I couldn't wait to get home and try them on--I have been wanting a pair of black jeans for a very long time and that is why I was so excited. I burst into the house after my MCAT class and ripped open the box. They were exactly what I wanted. I tried them on and they fit really well. I had my mom look at them to see what see thought of them. She told me that they looked good. Things, however, changed. I as I was walking to the bathroom to look in the mirror, my mom made the comment that she didn't notice how low the pockets were and that when I walked, the stitching (it being white) went into the creases of my bum. Then she changed her opinion on them. I noticed the same thing too and now I don't like them. It is a very sad story. I was utterly and completely let down.
Then today made it even worse! I had an amazing swim with Chace and had a good time doing that. Then I came to school. The first class was good. Then came the second class. We got our tests back and I felt like I did really well on the test. I look at my score and got an 81! I was so dismayed. I quickly looked over my test and the only reason was because of two stupid problems that I made mistakes on at the beginning that then ending up causing problems with the rest of the parts on that question. UGH! It made it even worse to know that I was average. I got the average score. I haven't done that since my freshman year--except when I was sick with Crohn's and admitted to the hospital (I failed a couple of tests then, but I don't count them because I was sick). It was such a tragedy and I was heart broken. I'm going to try to fit for some more points back on it.
The next tragedy came when I entered the computer lab. I decided I would look at my grades--bad idea. All of my classes that I had tests in last week, I totally rocked all of my midterms. This week I wrecked and did awful on all of them. I saw the test that I took yesterday and thought I did well on it. I got a 37/50. That really hurt. I got a C. I have never had a C on a test in my entire life! UGH! I think that the average was 36, but still! I'm average again. I'm going to that class in a minute and I don't want to go because I don't want to see my test. What made that score even worse was when I found out about my presentation I did for that class the same day. I thought I did really good on it, well the professor didn't think so. He docked me a lot of points and I barely got a 90% when the guy who went before me who didn't speak the whole time he was supposed and who couldn't answer questions got a 98%! I was really bothered with that. I answered a lot of questions and filled the whole time I was supposed to! WTF?!?!? I'm so angry and frustrated right now. I wonder if he mixed our scores up. I'm headed to that class right now, even though I don't want to. I'm not excited for happy to go. Oh well, such in life.
In other news, I'm ordering my state championship ring today, I'm going clubbing tonight, taking an MCAT practice test tomorrow, and I'm going disco roller skating tomorrow. I'm excited for all of this and hopefully it will get rid of this tragedy of my life.
Yesterday, I got a text from my mom telling me that I had got a package in the mail. I wasn't able to get home until 9:30 at night so I was excited all day. I knew exactly what it was--my black pair of jeans that I bought online on Saturday. I couldn't wait to get home and try them on--I have been wanting a pair of black jeans for a very long time and that is why I was so excited. I burst into the house after my MCAT class and ripped open the box. They were exactly what I wanted. I tried them on and they fit really well. I had my mom look at them to see what see thought of them. She told me that they looked good. Things, however, changed. I as I was walking to the bathroom to look in the mirror, my mom made the comment that she didn't notice how low the pockets were and that when I walked, the stitching (it being white) went into the creases of my bum. Then she changed her opinion on them. I noticed the same thing too and now I don't like them. It is a very sad story. I was utterly and completely let down.
Then today made it even worse! I had an amazing swim with Chace and had a good time doing that. Then I came to school. The first class was good. Then came the second class. We got our tests back and I felt like I did really well on the test. I look at my score and got an 81! I was so dismayed. I quickly looked over my test and the only reason was because of two stupid problems that I made mistakes on at the beginning that then ending up causing problems with the rest of the parts on that question. UGH! It made it even worse to know that I was average. I got the average score. I haven't done that since my freshman year--except when I was sick with Crohn's and admitted to the hospital (I failed a couple of tests then, but I don't count them because I was sick). It was such a tragedy and I was heart broken. I'm going to try to fit for some more points back on it.
The next tragedy came when I entered the computer lab. I decided I would look at my grades--bad idea. All of my classes that I had tests in last week, I totally rocked all of my midterms. This week I wrecked and did awful on all of them. I saw the test that I took yesterday and thought I did well on it. I got a 37/50. That really hurt. I got a C. I have never had a C on a test in my entire life! UGH! I think that the average was 36, but still! I'm average again. I'm going to that class in a minute and I don't want to go because I don't want to see my test. What made that score even worse was when I found out about my presentation I did for that class the same day. I thought I did really good on it, well the professor didn't think so. He docked me a lot of points and I barely got a 90% when the guy who went before me who didn't speak the whole time he was supposed and who couldn't answer questions got a 98%! I was really bothered with that. I answered a lot of questions and filled the whole time I was supposed to! WTF?!?!? I'm so angry and frustrated right now. I wonder if he mixed our scores up. I'm headed to that class right now, even though I don't want to. I'm not excited for happy to go. Oh well, such in life.
In other news, I'm ordering my state championship ring today, I'm going clubbing tonight, taking an MCAT practice test tomorrow, and I'm going disco roller skating tomorrow. I'm excited for all of this and hopefully it will get rid of this tragedy of my life.
6 Things I LOVE
Kanani tagged me and I feel obligated to continue (I'll even format it like her), so here you go...
- I LOVE swimming! It has been something I have done my entire life and I can get no greater pleasure than jumping into a pool and working out really hard. Kanani and I have been swimming together lately and it feels amazing!
- I LOVE coaching! I find great pleasure in helping and watching my swimmers achieve the goals they set for themselves. I also love being there for them when the have their great successes or their failures. It feels like I am more than a coach to them--a friend, a teacher, and a person they can confide in.
- I LOVE dancing, especially 80's dancing! I love letting it all loose on the dance floor. It is so much fun to go out and have a good time, especially when there are friends involved. I just can't get enough of dancing. When I need a break from homework, I usually blast some Madonna and have a little dance party in my room for about five or ten minutes to clear my mind.
- I LOVE Madonna! I bet most of you saw that one coming. She is pretty much amazing. I can't really express my love for her. I've loved her music since I was young and I still love it. I went to her concert last November and it made my life complete! I was so happy for a long time after that. Sigh... If you saw my room and my phone, you'd know how much I love Madonna!
- I LOVE medicine! I love every aspect about it. I love the challenge of it, the mystery, the complexity, the break-throughs, the human body, and much much more! Everything about it amazes me. There is also the bonus that you get to help people live better lives and hopefully change the world one person at a time. That is why I want to go into medicine!
- I LOVE learning! There is just something about it that is so addicting for me. I love to learn new things and perfect my knowledge of the subjects I'm studying. That is why you can always see me studying. Another aspect of learning, is reading for fun, which I absolutely love! I have a list of books I need/want to read and I work on them when I need to take breaks from studying. There is so much to learn out there and I'd love to learn it all!
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