Lab Coat Junkie

Letter to My Cadaver

2012-01-21T11:55:00.004-05:00

Dear Dean,

I don't know what to say except for thank you. You have taught me so much about myself, anatomy, and the beauty of the human body. Also, you brought me and my five other labmates together. For all of this, I am eternally grateful that you would be so kind and willing to donate your body for my education.

I remember the first day that I met you. It was the first day of anatomy and it was a special moment for me, a moment I have looked forward to for many years. The excitement was high as I stood there in my scrubs and smock. Dr. Laitman was speaking to the class in the microphone, but I couldn’t pay attention. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally gave us permission to reveal your body. I looked down on your body. You were on your back and were pale, gray, and clammy. The stench of the preservatives wafted into my nostrils and filled the room. This was the first smell of the scent that I would come to hate. We prepared our tools as we waited for permission to start cutting into the skin on your back. The six of us each took turns cutting and removing the skin and fat from your back. As we removed the fat, we found your beautiful muscles. This was the first view of your stunning innards. We finished that day looking at most of the back muscles.

As the days and weeks progressed, we explored every inch of your body. We found and dissected your heart, lungs, liver, splanchnic nerves, brain, celiac trunk, Prince Saphenous the Great, tongue, kidneys with simple renal cysts, aorta, greater omentum, azygos vein, carina, your glorious GI tract, and so much more.

My favorite days that I spent with you were when we cut into your abdomen and discovered your GI tract. It was beautiful, yet challenging to work with and it pushed me to my limits. When we removed your rectus abdominis, it was magical to see your greater omentum. It was an apron of fat protecting your intestines from our view and mechanical damage. As we moved the omentum, your intestines were beautiful to behold. I loved holding your intestines in my hand, squishing the digested food, opening both the large and small intestines, and handling your haustra and epiploic appendages. But during the removal of your GI tract is when I almost threw up into you. We never found your appendix and the six of us agreed that you must have had it removed, even though we couldn't find a scar.

The days that we spent with you are special to me and I will cherish my memories from them. I will never forget you and all that you have taught me. Thank you again for letting me meet you and for letting me get to know you better than most of your friends and family.

Respectfully,
Sean

First Semester Done!

2012-01-21T11:32:00.003-05:00

I successfully finished my first semester of medical school and graduate school (I realize that this is about a month late). The first semester was definitely a difficult one, but I pulled through with great grades in all of my classes. I am extremely happy with how the semester went and everything that I learned about science, healthcare, medicine, life, and myself.

These are some of the lessons that I learned:

I hate muscles and nerves
I can take breaks and not study as much as I do
I need to find more balance in my life or in other words, escape the library and have some fun
I'm in love the GI tract
Surgery doesn't interest me
Making best friends takes time, but once you make them, they'll always be around
Some people don't respect you unless you went to an Ivy League
Always make time for loved ones
NYC has some of the best food around
I like to stress bake and cook... Mmmm, pie!
Everyone isn't the same in medical school and we're actually all very different
Exercise is a must that needs to happen more often
I love teaching the more that I do it
Don't let people to bring you down
Be confident because I know more and have more ability than I think

That's about it. I'm hoping to blog more regularly. It's one of my goals. XOXO. S.

Hello!

2011-08-05T10:59:00.001-04:00

*Ding dong*

Hello! My name is Elder Llewellyn, and I'd like to share with you the most amazing book! (From the opening song, but with my name place in it).

Back in May, I went to see The Book of Mormon. I'd like to say that I absolutely loved it! I know that a lot of people in the LDS community have said some awful things about it, but I'd like to say that they have inflated their opinions to extreme views. Also, I highly doubt many of the critics have seen the show.

There were some aspects that I didn't like of the show. They all were around the vulgarity of some of the characters and songs. I felt that some of the things said or sang could have had the poor language taken out. That being said, I can see why the language was in there. People do a lot of swearing and for some it is just a part of their vocabulary. So it seems to me that the writers were staying true to the "missionary" experience. I've never served a mission, but I'm sure that some people who missionaries try to visit have run into many people with colorful language.

Now, here is why I liked it and why I differ from most of the LDS critics. It's true that the writers poked fun at our quirkiness (they also poked fun of a lot of sensitive issues), but we do the same with movies like Singles Ward. The truth is that we make fun of ourselves in the same way as they were poking fun at us. I don't see anything wrong with this because I was taught growing up that we, Mormons, are queer folks that are different from the rest of the world. It's ok that we are different and it's ok to poke fun at our quirkiness. The writers were trying to portray Mormons as a unique group of people and they were able to accomplish this, but it wasn't in a demeaning fashion. I thought that they portrayed the LDS Church in an excellent light.

Many people have said that they do a bad portrayal of the Church, but I disagree. The writers showed that missionaries, while they may be innocent, are going out to places like Uganda to try to better the lives of and to give hope to many people. Throughout the musical, it shows the progression of how the missionaries are changing the lives of a town. The people are no longer dismal and angry; they transform into a people full of hope of a better life and they are striving to better their lives. Isn't that what missionary work is all about? I'd say that these missionaries did a wonderful job doing it.

Other critics have said that missionaries aren't as innocent as was portrayed in the musical. I'd like to say that they are. I'm sure when missionaries are going through the MTC that there is some education of the area, culture, and "trials" that people face, but learning about them is completely different than actually experiencing them, especially when you come from the homogeneous state known as Utah or Idaho and the surrounding states. When the missionaries arrived in Uganda, they were completely horrified at the situation--they couldn't believe what was going on. The missionaries that were already there had lost hope in spreading the Gospel and were waiting until their two years were over. Soon the newbies had experiences that caused them to question what they were doing there. Each situation caused one to lose more and more faith because he didn't realize that the world was unfair. He seemed to imagine the whole world to be like the US, specifically Orlando. It took him a long time to realize that the world is not all butterflies, unicorns, and rainbows. Eventually, his mission companion helped him realize that the world is not always fair and that they can actually change the lives of a whole town for the better.

Finally, a lot of people have said that they don't show the correct doctrine. While this is partially true, most of what they say is true. The writers had to change a few doctrines so that people of other beliefs could relate and understand; however, these changes were not so far away from the actual doctrine. Imagine trying to teach someone who has no knowledge about the Church everything in a couple hours. Can you do that? Of course you can't. That is why they changed a few things to make it more "mainstream" Christianity.

Overall, I absolutely loved the play and I have bought the soundtrack. It always makes me smile. Also, I think that this musical and the current Mormon.org (I think) ads in NYC is giving the Church a lot of publicity, which could in turn cause more people to be interested in learning more about the Church.

Neuron Overload and the Juggling Physician

2011-07-27T09:07:00.004-04:00

This is an interesting article from Lancet about how some physicians are very empathic individuals, but sometimes come off as though they are not listening and aloof. For some doctors I believe this is true, whereas for others, I don't believe this is true. There are some doctors out there who are just in it for the money and/or have lost the desire to treat and help patients (or burned out). With the empathetic doctors, I agree with the article that there are many distractions, there isn't enough allotted time with patients, and that they have difficulty listening and processing all of the patient's information to formulate the best treatment. It seems to me that this isn't the fault of doctors, but rather the institution of medicine's fault. If healthcare changed one of its institutional practices such as give more time with patients, there wouldn't be as many problems with medicine as there are today. I hope one day to be a part of changing the face of medicine through lab, clinical, and academic work. In the meantime, I will work hard on becoming a doctor who listens to each of my patients and helps them receive the best treatment.

Move-Ed

2011-07-08T16:22:00.004-04:00

Sorry that I haven't written for a very long time. A lot has been going on, I have been on many adventures, and I haven't had the desire/much time to write. Nevertheless, here is a quick update with a chance of a longer one later. I'm not keeping any promises...

I have moved on to a whole new part of my life. I was admitted in Mount Sinai School of Medicine's MSTP (MD/PhD) program! I moved up to New York last Friday and I have almost completed my first official week of school. I'll be in the city for at least the next 8 years. So far, I'm loving it here and I'm loving school. Everything that is currently happening to me is exactly what I want and need. Life is good right now.

Here are some keywords to describe my adventures in New York: apoptosis, big sister, programmed necrosis, Central Park, site-seeing, TNF, U-Haul, NYPD, food, DNA fragmentation, parents, and fireflies.

Good Reads

2011-04-02T11:38:00.004-04:00

I haven't blogged in a while. I should do it soon to update you all with my life. In the meantime, people always ask me what books I've read. Here is a list of the books I've read and am planning to read in the future. Feel free to ask me about any of them and I'll give you my two cents.

Current book:

The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro

Books I've read since moving to Maryland:

The Inferno by Dante Alighieri
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison
Dune by Frank Herbert
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
The Hunger Games Triology by Suzanne Collins
The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

Books I'm planning on reading:

Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide by Kay Redfield Jamison
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
The Girl who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson
The Girl who Kicked the Hornets Nest by Stieg Larsson
Let Me In by John Ajvide Lindqvist
As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
East of Eden by John Steinbeck

Interviews and Thoughts Thus Far...

2011-01-22T22:24:00.003-05:00

My first interview was at Boston University in October. BU was a great place. I really liked and felt like I fit in. The schools is very research oriented and focused. I was surprised that they recommended that every student perform some research while they attend medical school at BU. My interviews went very well and the old Dean of Admissions told me that I would be "a good fit" at BU. I lOVE Boston and definitely could live there, so I wouldn't mind living there for 8 some odd years. The only problem with BU is that I don't receive my stipend all my years of school. I don't want to go into debt, especially when I will be starting my career around age 35.

My second interview was at Tufts University in November. It appears that the Boston schools like me and think I'll fit into their program. Tufts was also a great school. I fell in love with one researcher and his research. He is an up and coming researcher who is proving wrong many of the believed concepts of T cell activation. He would help my career go far. Also, Tufts is very keen on mentoring. They constantly have people checking up on the MD/PhDs and helping them through the long process. Another benefit is that I am funded all of my years of school and I receive a stipend. One problem is the push to finish the program in 7 years. I wonder if moving through the program faster could be a disservice to students.

My last interview was at NYU. I absolutely loved NYU! The school is amazing, the people are amazing, the research is amazing, the immunology department is amazing, the facilities are amazing, and NYC is always amazing. Right now, I would consider NYU my topic choice. I was very impressed with their dedication to infectious disease immunology. They are currently expanding the immunology department, which means a lot of new, up and coming researchers will be at NYU. In this expansion, they are building a brand new research building and it will be completed by the time that I'm starting my graduate school years. Also, I felt a strong sense of belonging at NYU. I was well received by all my interviewers and I made friends quickly with students. I took this as a very good sign. I also made a really good friend at NYU who was also an interviewee.

The first round of acceptances for all of these schools is in January, which leaves me a little more time to hear from them. I hope I hear good news from all of them. I am still waiting to hear back from 7 schools and I have another interview at Mount Sinai at the beginning of February. That means that I have had 4 interviews and 9 rejections. I'm pretty sure that at least half of the schools left will send me a rejection.

Here's to hoping I get in at least one of the schools I have interviewed at!

NYU

2011-01-22T22:10:00.004-05:00

I interviewed at NYU back in December. They put me up in a very posh hotel in midtown. I would love for my apartment to look like my hotel room. It definitely fit my decorating style. As promised, here are some pictures of my room.

My lovely bed. Notice the lime green double border on the pillow and the great mixing of colors on the throw blanket and bed stool.

TV/Entry way: LOVE the lamp!

I need a green chair like this...

The lovely bathroom.

Best shower I have EVER had in my life! I want one of these real bad!

I definitely approved of this hotel room and NYU! I could definitely see myself going there!

Thanksgiving

2011-01-22T21:54:00.005-05:00

I didn't make it home for Thanksgiving this year, but I still had a great celebration with some close friends. Iris, Kevin, Adan, and I made our own dinner. I brought two strawberry rhubarb pies, homemade rolls, green bean casserole, and pumpkin cider. Sadly, I didn't get a picture of the pumpkin cider and all of its deliciousness.

Pumpkin Cider Recipe
~2:1 Ratio of Apple Cider to Pumpkin Puree (I originally did 1:1 like the recipe told me, but it was way too thick. I played around with it until I got the consistency I liked)
Nutmeg and Pumpkin Pie Spice to taste
Cinnamon Sticks
Whipped Cream

In a large saucepan, mix together the pumpkin puree and apple cider on medium-low heat. Once the puree and cider have mixed together nicely, add in nutmeg, pumpkin pie spice, and a cinnamon stick. Simmer, stirring occasionally, for approximately 20 minutes. Serve hot and garnished with whipped cream and a cinnamon stick.

La Roux

2011-01-22T21:15:00.005-05:00

La Roux is one of my favorite groups right now. I absolutely lOVE them! I was lucky to be able to go to their concert with Iris back in November. We drove to DC on a work night and had a blast. I was able to touch her! :D It was definitely worth going to on a work night, even though we were both dead tired the next day! haha!

Paint Balling!

2011-01-22T17:24:00.005-05:00

For a Chemical Biology Lab party, we went paint balling. It was hilarious to see scientists getting a hold of guns, running around, hiding and trying to shoot one another. I had a lot of fun and was only killed 4 times, but I don't know if I'll do it again. I didn't like the whole idea of pretending we were at war with one another and subsequently trying to kill one another. The following pictures are an aftermath of what happened to me.

Yes, I am wearing underwear in the pictures. I'm not naked. This last mark came form a close shot (1 or 2 feet). The guy who shot me did so illegally.

New York, Again!

2011-01-22T17:08:00.005-05:00

Also in October, I had another chance to head to New York. This time it was to visit my friend Neil. He was there on business. I also got to see Michael, which was great. We mostly went shopping and ate delicious food, so I didn't get very many pictures. I almost forgot my favorite part of the trip... We were walking around in the meat packing district and found an old, abandoned warehouse that an art show decided to move in to. I recognized the style of the art from Madonna's latest art montage. I came to find out that this artist met Madonna and had worked with her a lot to create some amazing pictures of her, one that was chosen for her recent album. I was jealous of the artist and I want to meet Madonna so badly! It's too bad that I didn't run into her at the art exhibit.

This is me in front of a very cool statue in the financial district. It reminded me of a balloon animal.

This was in the Diesel store. I pretty much loved the pink army men attacking the woman. It reminded me of Gulliver's Travels. Oh, the best part was the man parachuting down to the scene too.This is Neil hanging out with his best friend Chewbacca at FAO Schwartz. PS That place is pretty much awesome with everything a little kid wants. They had separated gummy bears by flavor. Seriously, who does that?

Amish Town

2011-01-22T16:40:00.007-05:00

Back in October, I went to Lancaster County in Pennsylvania with from friends from BYU. We had a lot of fun exploring Amish country and the food was ever so good! Yum, YUm, YUM!!!!

On our way to the Amish towns, we ran into the Lancaster County Prison that looked like a castle! It was pretty much the coolest prison I have ever seen. If I ever go to jail, I hope I end up in a castle like this one!

We ran into some covered bridges along the way too. This one happened to lead to Target. Who knew that the Amish love Target so much?

When we got into Amish country, we stopped at a lovely general store that made a lot of yummy food. We decided to get sandwiches and ice cream here. I ended up buying 3 bricks of fudge too. This store had a old fashioned drinking fountain. It was so much cooler than our drinking fountains today.

After exploring the country some more and shopping at all of the cool shops, we found a real covered bridge and had to take photos in front of it. This is a picture of the whole gang who came on this adventure with me.

This trip was a blast! I ate so much good food and bought some really cool things. I had homemade apple cider, homemade donuts, delicious fresh sandwiches, fudge, and a lot of other food. I ended up buy more apple cider for home, 3 bricks of fudge, apple butter, a quilted purse for my mother, and some yarn for my mother. Overall, it was a great trip and I'd love to do it again!

Yummy fudge!

It's Not Summer Anymore

2010-10-08T18:30:00.003-04:00

It’s weird to think that it is no longer summer. I feel like I should be in school soon, but I’m not. I keep thinking it’s August, but it’s not. I want to be preparing for the next swim season, but it’s not my job anymore.

Every morning I’m surprised to see the leaves starting to change color and feel the chilly air. It’s no longer summer. It’s October, and I can scarcely believe it. Summer is over, and I am no longer a student. I tell myself, “welcome to real life” and “this is life with a career.” I’ll eventually get used to a life without school.

It just feels weird not going to school. I want to be buying textbooks and new clothes, running into friends on campus, coaching the swim team, working in Dr. Burton's research laboratory, and so much more. I miss the excitement of taking new courses, having new professors, making new friends, and seeing old friends. It makes me want to be back in school, even though I love my job. I will only be out of school for a year or two, and then I’ll be right back in school for basically the rest of my life, so I guess it’s not so bad.

In other news, I received another rejection from a medical school. I now have had 25% of the schools I applied to reject me. Oh well… There is nothing I can do about that now. Despite another rejection, I received an interview! YAY! It's at Boston University. It's a good school, but it's not MSTP so it's not as prestigious. It is also one of my back-up schools. I'm glad to know at least one of my back-up schools like me. I have an interview there Oct. 28-29 (Mollie, I expect to see you while I'm there). :)

My Life As of Late

2010-09-30T15:48:00.005-04:00

Lately I've been up to a lot of hustling and bustling. It's been fun, tiring, and busy. Here is what I've been up to and what I plan to do this weekend.

A couple of weekends ago, I went to a beach on the Chesapeake Bay with some friends. It was a lot of fun! We attempted to fly my kite, but was unsuccessful because there wasn't enough wind. The sad part is that I still haven't been able to fly it even though I've almost had it for a year. Why can't there ever be enough wind to fly it? Ugh! Besides the lack of flying of the kite, it was still a good time. We ended up getting into a sand fight. We were chasing each other all over the beach and the water throwing sand at each other. It ended up hurting a lot, but it was a blast. Soon afterward, we were playing in the water. Then we decided to build sand castles. We ended up building a volcano, a pyramid, and a spiral jetty (like the one in the Great Salt Lake). I also built a wall to prevent the waves from destroying our masterpieces and a pretty awesome bay that caught the water. It even included a light house. Sadly, I didn't have my camera with me so I don't have any pictures our work.

Then last week, I headed down to Virginia to a Glee party and met some great people there. One of the guys I met there was going to be in the Frederick area on Friday night so he stopped by. We went out to dinner and I showed him downtown Frederick. It was a lot of fun, and I discovered a new part of Frederick. There is a canal that runs through the downtown. It has a lot of artwork painted along the walls and bridges. Some of the art is painted as architecture, so the bridges looks like they are made from stone bricks and that there are porticoes with statues along the canal. I really enjoyed my time with my new friend David in Frederick.

On Saturday, I met up with a friend of a friend in DC whose name is also David. We pretty much had a lot of fun. We first went to the zoo and much hilarity ensued! Seriously! I've never had so much fun at the zoo. We were discovering all sorts of random facts about animals and the people were priceless. At the komodo dragon exhibit, there was a little girl that wouldn't stop talking. David eventually told her that komodo dragons breath fire. They got in a fight about it, and it was hilarious! This girl was so adamant about komodo dragons not breathing fire and then David was just as adamant that they in fact breathed fire. I think she eventually became frustrated and stopped talking to David. After which, we left the zoo.

We then walked to an Ethiopian restaurant. It was a great experience and completely delicious! Everything there was traditional Ethiopian. We sat in low-to-the-ground chairs, ate out of a basket, and other aspects that were uniquely Ethiopian. I guess in Ethiopia, they do not use utensils; they use their hands. They had these tortillas/bread that we tore into pieces to pick up the food. I had a lamb dish and David had a beef dish. I tried both. I definitely plan on going back there. I loved the environment and the food! Such a great cultural experience.

After gorging ourselves with food, we started our walk to the sight-seeing areas. We walked through Adams Morgan (a typical bar crawl area), Dupont Circle, Farragut, and then the Mall. The White House was great to see at night, but it was sad because there wasn't good people watching there. I guess all of the crazies and tourists don't stop by at night. We then headed towards the Jefferson Memorial because it was the only major memorial I haven't seen yet. We walked through the cherry blossom trees, minus the cherry blossoms and eventually ended up at the Jefferson Memorial. Here there was better people watching, but not as much during the day. David had me lie down on my back and look at Washington Monument/DC upside down. It was really cool. We then started a trend because everyone else was doing it too. It was funny. We also had tourists take pictures of us... I'm not entirely sure why. Haha! After the Jefferson, we headed home on the red line. We ended up walking 9 miles in total that day! It was such a good day and a fun time!

Then on Monday I was in Bethesda most of the day for meetings at the main campus. I met up with my friend April. We went out to dinner to catch up and plan our trip to Amish country in October for the harvest. While at dinner, I happened to spill my whole water glass on myself... Yeah, I'm cool and awesome like that! Haha! I was soaked for all of dinner and the whole way home. It was a good time though. I really enjoyed talking to April and catching up. Also, I cannot wait for our trip to Amish country! Can you say apples, squash, pumpkins, and everything delicious about Fall? I hope that they have spiced pumpkin cider there because I love it so!

David from Saturday also invited me to a musical called Chess. I went with him on Tuesday. The main reasons I went are because I wanted to hang out with him again and because they have my favorite 80's song in the musical, "One Night In Bangkok." The musical was ok. The performers were great and the lead female had an amazing voice, but we both agreed that we wouldn't have paid money to see this musical. It was interesting, but yeah... I don't know what to say about it.

Yesterday, I was finally able to start my HIV/AIDS project in full! We finally received approval from EHS. I spent most of the day yesterday deactivating the virus in monkey sera. I will start working on that project full-time coming very soon. I still have a few projects to finish up on before I can work full-time on the HIV/AIDS microarray. I'm excited to actually be working on the project I signed on to do! YAY!!! :D Yesterday, I also was pulled over by the Fort Detrick police officer. Ugh! :( The only problem was that one of my head lights was burned out. I have a fix-it citation and need to get it fixed ASAP; otherwise, I have to pay a $100 fee and possibly lose the registration to my car. I think that is a little much, but it is Maryland law. Oh well... I fixed it this evening and now I need to take it to the police department to show them it is fixed so that they can sign a stupid paper and then I'll be free from the citation.

Tomorrow, I'm going to a musical called Falsetto, and then on Saturday I'm going to the DC Rollergirls opening bout. It should be a good weekend of culture, roller derby, and friends! Life has been good as of late and I love how I'm making a lot of new friends!

Lectins Untangled?

2010-09-20T20:08:00.002-04:00

I have formed a passionate hate for lectins. I am currently working with them in lab and the results I receive have been sub par. BUT I think that I have untangled the mess that are known as lectins. I recently discovered a problem in the experimental protocol that my mentor developed. Lectins have a dissociation constant below the molarity of the solution, meaning that the lectins will not bind to the glycans and prefer to be in the solution. I am doing a trial tomorrow at higher concentrations without Jeff's permission, and I hope that everything works out. If so, something very good can come from this.

I'm also working on 3 other projects right now that will result in publications. The work is pretty insane, but it will be good and fun. If all of these results work out, I will be on all of these papers, which I am stoked about.

Labor Day Weekend: New York

2010-09-11T00:13:00.004-04:00

I woke up at the crack of dawn to leave Mollie's house on Monday. It was sad to say goodbye to her, but we had a jolly time together AND we will be getting together more often (or at least I want to). I started my drive to New York. It was the most uneventful drive of my life, but I still had a lot of fun. It was good to see scenery of New England since the last time was in utter darkness. I really love New England and the east coast.

I eventually made it to New York and I didn't have to pay any tolls to get in! I don't know how I managed that one, but Barbara was a great help. I stopped by my friend Michael's apartment on the upper west side. It was a very unique area. I think this area is the little Mexico of New York. He had a rocking apartment and I loved what he did with the little space he had. He still has work to do and I think it will turn out nicely. I also met his roommate who is also a great, genuine guy. It was good to get to know him and hang out with Michael. We hopped on the metro to go down to China Town for lunch. On the way, we ended up at a very cool lighting store, which Michael was dying over because he wanted to make some awesome light fixtures for his apartment. We finally arrived at a dumpling shop and met up with two of his friends. We had delicious dumplings for under $5. It was definitely one of the best lunches I've had for that cheap. I order boiled chicken and mushroom dumplings and they were delightful! I also had little Asian women trying to sell me cute baby turtles. I did not buy any turtles, but they were so cute and it is something I regret now.

After that, we headed about the town. We stopped in a few stores for shopping and then ended up at Central Park. I've only been to Central Park in the dead of winter. It was good to see it lively and full of people. The highlights of Central Park were the Bethesda Fountain, pigeons, and pond turtles. I loved the Bethesda Fountain! I wish I had my camera with me. It was so beautiful in summer. The water flowing out of the fountain with the lily pads and cattails was very peaceful despite the crowded area. If I lived in New York, I could definitely find myself studying there and just hanging around there. The pigeons... How I love pigeons! I have no idea why I love pigeons so much, but I enjoy chasing after them and trying to catch them. Plus big city pigeons tend to be bigger than normal pigeons so that adds to the fun. Finally, I loved the turtles in the pond. They were also cute, which caused me to regret not buying the turtles from the little Asian woman. It would be fun to have a little pet in my apartment. I think it would add a lot to it and make it less lonely to come home every night. I'd have someone to greet me every day! That is something that I truly miss about home. Someone to greet me and bother me, even though I hated it back home.

After staying in New York a lot longer than expected, I drove home. I didn't get stuck in any traffic, which surprised me. I guess I was lucky or something. Also, I was lucky I did not lock my keys in my car again. That would have been no good. My labor day weekend was most excellent! I loved every minute of it, except the hour and a half that my keys were locked in my car and while I was lost in New York. Thanks to everyone for making it such a great weekend!

Labor Day Weekend: Cambridge/Boston

2010-09-07T21:14:00.010-04:00

After my adventurous drive, I woke up in Cromwell, Connecticut. It was a beautiful morning and Mollie made breakfast. We then ran some errands and she showed me around her old stomping grounds.

At the end of the tour, she took me to the Connecticut River as shown above. It was huge! I wonder why we never have rivers like this in the West. In there river there were boats with water skiers, rowing teams, and people fishing. After this stop, we headed up to Cambridge, Massachusetts. Mollie showed me her house and I met her roommates. Then we headed towards Cambridge Commons and Harvard Commons for lunch. There were a lot of colonial style houses along the way and some of them were huge! They are probably worth millions of dollars right now. I can't even imagine how long they took to build and how much money they cost to build. Let's just say they were crazy big!

We went to Pinocchio's Pizza. It was delicious and we both ate for only $6! I had an artichoke pizza slice (delish) and Mollie had a tomato basil pizza slice (also delish). It was a great place to start off.

After a delicious lunch, we headed to Harvard. We walked around Harvard Commons and then went to the famous library. We explored the library and since it was both our first time we got lost. The library reminded me of a castle. It was the coolest library ever! I really wished I could study in there. It was that awesome. We then walked more around the commons and unsuccessfully tried to touch the founder of Harvard statue's feet (crazy Asian tourists were flocking there making their children touch his feet so that they could go to Harvard in the future). It was insane! Mollie and I were not forceful enough to get up there and have someone take a picture of us or let alone touch his feet. After that craziness, we headed back to Mollie's house and then went to see Inception. I loved the movie, but this is not the point of this blog.

The next day we went driving around Cambridge and Boston looking at Tufts, Boston, and Harvard medical schools, and then went to church. After church we headed home for lunch and went to Boston Commons. At Boston Commons, I jumped into the frog pond for a swim. I was sad there were no frogs to catch there. We saw a policeman on a horse, saw the Make Way for Ducklings statue, and started on the Freedom Trail.

The Freedom trail was a lot of fun and we saw a lot of the city and American Revolution history AND we ran into a gigantic noodle! I wanted to ride the noodle, but sadly they wouldn't let me climb on it. My guess was that a lot of people have fallen off it and got hurt.

At the end of the Freedom Trail, we were in Little Italy so we naturally ate in an Italian restaurant. It was some of the best Italian food I've ever eaten. We then waited for about 30 minutes in line at Mike's Pastry Shop. It is famous.

I have the life motto "Go big or go home," so Mollie and I went big! We bought 5 scrumptious desserts from Mike's. They included two canolis, a chocolate creme brulee, a strawberry lobstertail cream puff, and an eclair. They were all so yummy! We definitely went big and went home with full stomachs from dinner and dessert. In fact, I still have some dessert in my fridge. Mmmmm, tasty! After dessert, we had an invigorating discussion about a lot of topics and then went to bed. I said my goodbye in the morning and then started my trek home. I really loved Cambridge and Boston, and I wouldn't mind living there.

Labor Day Weekend: Friday

2010-09-07T19:37:00.011-04:00

This past weekend I made my way to New England for a grand old time! The drive was very uneventful for the most part. There were hilarious billboards in Pennsylvania. Some of my favorites included: "You'll find Jesus here! Take the next exit!" and then two billboards later (before the exit), "Porn is the road to hell! Take the next exit!" I had a good chuckle over this one because I think whoever created these billboards forget to add a little bit more information on the second billboard. If not, the town had two roads, one that leads to Jesus where you can meet him and one that leads to hell where you can meet Satan. I have to say that the little town in Pennsylvania must be mountaining!

I reached New York City about 10, which was sooner than I was expecting and was planning to get to Mollie's house in Connecticut early; however, the forces of nature had something else in mind. I stopped for gas. A gas attendant was filling up everyone's tank so I let him fill up mine, while I went to the bathroom. Well, as you can imagine, I turned off my car and ran into the bathroom. I came out to my car with the tank full, the doors shut, and my keys locked in the car. I have a habit of locking my doors whenever I get out of my car. I must have forgotten my keys in my car because I wasn't really planning on getting out until I decided to quickly run to the bathroom. I then had to call a locksmith. They were 30 minutes away so I had to wait for them. Then instead of sending a locksmith, the dispatch sent a tow truck. The tow truck then had to go back to dispatch to get the tools to open my car. In the meantime, I was sitting on the side of the road next to a gas station. It was awesome. Then the locksmith told me it would be $60 to unlock my car. I only had $38 on me because I had to pay tolls. The ATM in the gas station was out of money and they had a no cash back policy, which made me mad. I then had to walk a mile down the road to the next closest ATM. It was an awesome evening. After about an hour at the gas station, I finally got on the road again.

I only drove for about 5 minutes then I missed an exit and got lost near Columbia Medical School. Luckily I had explored the area thoroughly when I was there last year and knew my way around, but the exit I needed to get back onto the freeway was closed. Barbara (my GPS) was getting mad at me and kept telling me to turn around and take the ramp. I kept driving and somehow ended up in the Bronx without the help of Barbara. It was late (after 11) and people were out and about. I was nervous that they were going to come up to my car because I have Utah plates and could be an easy target so I locked all of the doors 5 times. I finally got on the freeway again and made my way to Cromwell. Mollie was waiting up for me and I finally arrived at 12:30. It was a long, yet fun drive. I was glad that it had ended. Mollie and I talked for a bit. Then we went to bed so we could be ready for our day of adventuring in Cromwell and Cambridge the next day.

Another Bites the Dust...

2010-09-01T12:33:00.002-04:00

I bet you guess what happened by the title...

Another denial... sigh...

What Happened Today?

2010-08-25T22:39:00.004-04:00

What happened today?

Something special? No...

Something fun? No...

Something crazy? No...

Something lovely? No...

Something about research? No...

Something good? No...

What could it be?

Something bad? Yes...

Something about medical school? Yes...

Something about interviews? Yes...

Some bad news about interviews? Yes...

Some really bad news about interviews? Yes...

How bad?

Let's just say really bad. I received three denials in one day. Let's just say that I feel worthless right now. I feel like my dreams of being a medical scientist have been crushed. I moved out her to Maryland hoping that it would help progress my career. It looks like I have been wrong so far.

I guess I still have more schools to hear the news from. Hopefully it will be good because I don't know if I can handle anymore disappoint at this time.

PS I don't want to talk about it, unless I call you to talk about it.

Happy Madonna Day!

2010-08-16T20:43:00.007-04:00

Today is Madonna's birthday! It is a celebration that should happen around the world. Her music has taught me to be strong, passionate, playful, driven, myself, non-judgmental, proud of myself, not to be afraid of others judgments, and many other great and amazing things. Here's to the Queen of Pop! And no, I'm not referring to Lady Gaga. I'm referring to the one who did it all before her and who still reigns supreme!

Happy birthday Madonna!

Dilly Dally Shilly Shally

2010-08-16T20:39:00.000-04:00

Mollie gave me this task a while ago and I'm FINALLY getting to it after 3 or 4 months... Oops!

Four shows I like to watch:
1. Alias
2. Gossip Girl
3. Glee
4. Lost

Four things I'm passionate about:
1. Research
2. Immunology
3. Medicine
4. Swimming

Four phrases I say a lot:
1. Just another joy from life.
2. Yep, yep, yep!
3. Oh, such is life sometimes...
4. I don't know what you're talking about.
(I also had a very hard time with this one. Feel free to say others in the comment section)

Four things I have learned from the past:
1. Sometimes life throws crap at you and you just have to get up and throw it back!
2. Small, nerdy things make me really excited and happy.
3. I love medicine, but I love research more so that makes a career in academic medicine the best career choice for me!
4. Swimming teaches you all of the important lessons in life such as hard work, patience, dedication, drive, passion, friendship, leadership, disappointment (specifically how to deal with it) and most importantly how to swim fast. (This list could seriously go on forever!)

Four places I want to go:
1. Italy
2. Greece
3. New Zealand
4. Medical school (specifically in an MD/PhD MSTP)

Four things I did yesterday:
1. Wrote essays for medical school applications (almost done with my 20 apps! YAY!)
2. Played Final Fantasy 13
3. Made breakfast, lunch, and dinner
4. Read The Alchemist

Four things I'm looking forward to:
1. Medical school applications to be over
2. Fall back east
3. Visiting Mollie at Harvard
4. Publishing a journal article

Four things I love about spring:
1. Rain and thunder storms
2. Having it be the perfect temperature all the time (unless you are in Utah where it can be perfect one day and snowing the next)
3. School almost ending for the year
4. Being able to do more outdoorsy activities

Four things on my wish list:
1. Meet Madonna and become best friends with her
2. Matriculate into an MSTP
3. Make friends in Maryland
4. Publish a journal article in Nature, Science or PNAS

Four people to tag:
The four people who read my blog, which might not even be four...

Dela-Where?

2010-08-07T20:58:00.002-04:00

I went to Delaware with April and a couple of her friends today. It was a lot of fun in the car. Dover was boring because it was just buildings, but the beach was tons of fun! I'm so glad I called her earlier this week and we started out planning more adventures! It's nice to have a friend that is sort of in the area now. Here are some pictures that I took on the beach. I didn't take pictures anywhere else because everywhere else was boring!

Delaware Bay in all of it's beauty and glory!

These horseshoe crabs were doing some crazy things...

A poor gigantic jellyfish washed up on the shore and died. Luckily I got a picture of it! It was really cool too because it's tentacles were still emitting fluorescence. It still had active GFP in it! I just about nerded out here. I couldn't get a good picture of it's tentacles glowing green.

This was a cute, dead crab. I ended up picking it up and playing with it. Then all of it's insides fell out so I couldn't get a good picture of me with it. Oh well...

I found a live horseshoe crab so I had to pick it up and play with it. I think it got mad at me because when I set it down, it went running away.

Then I fell through a sink hole of sand up to my knee. This was the result... :(

PS Dela-Where? was on a T-shirt we saw in a shop. It was hilarious.

The Fam in Town

2010-08-07T20:56:00.001-04:00

Here are some pictures of what I did with my family and some of the cool things I saw. I went to the National Art Gallery, all of the monuments, Annapolis, and Baltimore with them. They had fun without me while I was at work.

Headless girls in the park... Awesome! It was my favorite sculpture I've ever seen!

Look, it's me! I'm Hermes!

The world's first tranny? Possibly...

I went traveling to the future on this moving sidewalk.

I loved this hand exhibit! I believe that there were fifteen different hands in different poses.

For some reason, I just really loved this painting. I think it's beautiful!

The Washington Monument from the WWII Memorial.

The Lincoln Memorial.

The Blair Witch Project

2010-08-07T20:55:00.000-04:00

The day after I hung out with Brandon and Sarah, I went on a hunt for the Blair Witch. I found a lot of cool things to do around Burkittsville. I walked around the whole town, went to the cemetery, went for a hike, found an abandoned house, tried out haunted hill, and found a Civil War site. All in all, it was a good adventurous day!

This is the sign to Burkittsville... not the same as the one in the movie because people kept stealing the old one.
This is just one of my many pictures of the cemetery.

This is a picture of the small church in Burkittsville. It was very quaint. I liked it a lot and wanted to go in, but they were holding Sunday Mass.

This is what the trail that I hike on. It was like this the whole way until I got to the clearing where the abandoned house was. It really scared me because the whole time I was hiking, there were birds and insects making noise. BUT as soon as I got to the clearing with the house, everything was dead silent. I was so scared...

This was the first look of the house as I came into the clearing.

Here is the front of the house.

Here is the other side of the house.

After I ran away from the house, I ran into this just a little ways out of the clearing. I think it was supposed to be someone's tomb or something. It looks like a mausoleum to me and it was still dead silent around here too. I had the hee-bee-jee-bees the whole time I was around this area.

I then ran into a civil war battle field and toured the area. Here a woman told me about haunted hill. It was a place were many Confederate soldiers were shot down by the Union when they were pushing canons up the hill. Apparently if you put your car in neutral and come to a complete stop, the ghosts of the Confederates will push you up the hill until they reach the point where they were shot. I tried a five different places on the hill but could never get it to work. It might be legend or it might be true. Who knows?

Adventures with Brandon and Sarah

2010-08-07T20:49:00.002-04:00

Here is my first adventure from the east coast. It was when Brandon and Sarah were in DC during the second week of July. We decided to do something with them on Saturday. I rode down with our mutual friend, Katie Dean. She is a hilarious, spunky redhead with so much energy! We got lost about 5 or 6 times. It was hilariously funny though. I enjoyed every minute of our adventure. Katie Dean kept saying that the Holocaust Museum was by the George Washington Monument so eventually I kept telling her to follow the giant phallic symbol in the sky. We had a good chuckle of out this and it continued throughout the day and Sarah even thinks about me whenever she sees a giant phallic symbol. Here is a picture of the said giant phallic symbol in the sky.

We eventually caught up to Brandon and Sarah almost two hours late. I have never been that late to anything in my life. I felt so bad, but Brandon and Sarah thought our stories about getting lost were quite funny. We went through the Holocaust Museum and it was so sad. But me being my inappropriate self said some things that made Sarah and I laugh in the middle of some of the saddest parts of the museum. We received funny looks, BUT it made the museum even more interesting and entertaining than it already was. It generally was a sad sight to see all of the awful things that the Germans did to the Jews. I can't believe that anyone would ever go along with that. All of the propaganda behind it is very interesting though. It really made the people believe they were performing the correct actions to better their nation.

We then made our way to the American History Smithsonian. It was very interesting. I loved the history of American medicine that was intersperse throughout the museum. These are a few of the gems I saw while I was there.

After seeing the museum, we parted ways. It was good to see them and I had a great time. It was a lot of fun.

Recipes?

2010-07-03T10:27:00.001-04:00

Anyone have some fast recipes for dinner that they care to share with me? I realize that when I moved out here that I mainly know how to cook things that take too long to cook AKA over 30 minutes. If anyone cares to share their fast recipes, I'd greatly appreciate it! I'll also share mine if you like... :D

The First Two Days of Being a Big Boy

2010-07-02T20:52:00.006-04:00

I've been a big boy for two days now! I can't believe it. I have a real job, a real apartment, and a real desk! It weird and nice at the same time. I miss school, but I'm learning a lot right now, so it feels like I'm still in school. Anyways, here is a run down of my first two days.

Day 1

I arrived at 9 o'clock. I had to go through security in order to enter Fort Detrick. They took my driver's license and had me open all of my car doors. I forgot to open my trunk and I had a army man yell at me. He made me feel stupid, and subsequently, I now hate him. He told me off and seemed annoyed that a "civilian" was entering his home and domain. Ugh! I hate the military there already. After security, I arrive to building 376 about 9:30. I am greeted by Melinda, the chemical biology building secretary. She is really nice and got me started on my paperwork. Then Dr. Gildersleeve (below is a picture of him) came in the office I was working in and talked to me for a bit about the project I am working on. Then we headed off to meet everyone in lab. There are five of us total in the lab, and I'm the only post-bacc. The rest are post-docs or research associates. It's weird to be the youngest one in the lab by a lot of years. After meeting everyone, I headed off to finish my paperwork. I finished my paperwork and then went to the clinic to set-up a physical that is required for everyone. Then I went to get me official government ID for NCI (see the picture above). I will be receiving an NIH badge soon. To become fully official, I have to have my car registered and decaled as a government car. This allows me access to NIH parking lots and Fort Detrick (I don't have to go through security). I went to the military guy and he got up in my face. Yet another military man in my face... awesome! He went off about how I can't register my car as government because it isn't in my name and that I was essentially stupid for trying. Ugh! I really started hating the military after that. After that, I went into the lab and went to lunch with Olaf and Chris. Then we started some of my training. I have read many papers so far and have done homework, maybe that's why I feel like I'm not completely missing school. I left work about 6:30 and then stayed up until midnight working on my homework for today.

Day 2

I arrived to Fort Detrick at 8:30. I had a doctor appointment at 9. The same security guards were there, and the man still treated me like a stupid "civilian," even though I did everything right this time. I get the feeling that they like having power over the civilians and can do any checks they want if I want to get on the base. Ugh! I can't wait for the letter from my parents to come in the mail that will allow me to make my car a government car. It again took me about 30 minutes to get on base. I ran over to my appointment and had a general physical. I have 20/15 vision, great hearing, great reflexes, great heart rate, and great blood pressure. I'll get my blood work back next week, and hopefully all is ok there too! I then headed to the ID/Fingerprinting Center to get fingerprinted in order to receive my NIH ID. Once I finished that, I headed to lab. I went over my homework from last night with the post-doc, Chris, training me. I did almost everything right, but I had a few mistakes. They were easily changed though and I passed the assignment. After that, he gave me a beast of an assignment today. I had to analyze the results of four sets of data that had over 7000 points. Let's just say that it took me forever. I started going and then kept getting the wrong answers for 3 hours. It is all done in excel with complicated equations. I'm not good with excel, so I did not excel on this assignment. I finally took a lunch break, but the cafeteria was closed. So I bought a water and poptarts... what a great lunch! After lunch, I headed back into lab and worked on the assignment some more. I was still not getting things to work, which made me want to leave and go home. Finally, things started to work, and I finished everything about 6:30. I then learned that everything I did today was essentially pointless because there is a macro excel program that does all of that for us, but my post-doc wanted me to understand what the macro was doing. So about 8 hours later, I finished what a macro could do in 10 minutes or less... awesome! Then I headed home and did some shopping.

It's been fun, hard, frustrating, and challenging so far. I hope the frustration goes away, but the rest stays!

Oh, I also have a monster friend on base. I have yet to talk to it, but it lives in this, hence the danger sign. I walk past it everyday and it makes hissing and gurgling noises at me. I hope it's a friendly monster to "civilians" and eats military folk, especially the jerk at the check in gate.

Love Me Some Hospitals

2010-06-17T12:17:00.002-04:00

A lot of people think I am crazy because I'm in love with hospitals. Whenever I see a big hospital I get really excited and want to run in there and see what's going on. It's almost an amusement park or museum for me or even a little boy in a candy shop. I become giddy as a school girl... people I'm with at the time find it hilarious.

This love of hospitals came to me as a child. I absolutely loved visiting people in the hospital. I loved watching doctors move around from room to room, ambulances pull up with their sirens blaring and light blazing, people coming out of the operating room, and the nurses taking vitals or doing lab work. I just loved it all. This love progressed when I was in the hospital for severe appendicitis during spring break. After my operation, I walked up and down the halls. I tried to see everything and would get in trouble for going into places that I wasn't allowed. It was so much fun! Then as I was touring hospitals during my visits to medical schools, I felt the same sense of awe and giddiness. It was where I was supposed to be. That's all I felt. Hospitals love me and I love them.

Currently, I am in a hospital. I wish I could explore it and see what is going on. Tragically, I am tied to an IV station to receive my Remicaid treatment for Crohn's Disease. However, just being the hospital makes me very happy! I'm weird like that, I guess. I was so giddy as I was walking up today. Secretly, I wanted to start skipping, but thought that it wouldn't be proper for me to do that.

Anyways, I'm not sure why I am writing about this. It might be because I'm bored, and because I am happy to be in the hospital. It might also be the fact that just being in the hospital gives me a sense of calling. It feels like home to me. So if you ever go on a vacation or trip with me, expect me to become very giddy when I see a hospital, especially if it is a big one!

Love me some hospitals...

My Latest Obsession

2010-06-17T00:39:00.003-04:00

Gossip Girl has become my latest obsession. It's so good and so addicting... :D

Welcome to the Future!

2010-06-07T18:48:00.002-04:00

Welcome to the future! That's what I feel like my life is telling me right now. I'm a graduate from BYU with a BS in Biochemistry and a minor in Sociology as Magna Cum Laude. I'm headed off to the NIH/NCI in Frederick, MD at the end of June for a year long post-baccalaureate research position (basically it is a paid internship). I will be working on developing a microarray to test the efficacy of the HIV/AIDS vaccines that are being developed across the nation and world. It is really exciting! :) I'm also reapplying for medical school, but this time I am applying for MD/PhD programs, instead of MD programs. These are much harder to get into, but I'm hoping to receive a position. I would love to research, teach, and practice clinical medicine at an academic medical center. So yeah, that's my update for now. Hope all is well with everyone!

PS If you want to read my application essays, I posted them before this.

PPS I was recently diagnosed with Spasmodic Torticollis.

Research Experience Statement

2010-06-07T18:38:00.001-04:00

For those of you who are interested, this is the research I have been doing. Maybe you'll understand what I was doing. If not, feel free to ask me questions.

For nearly two years, I worked in Dr. Gregory Burton’s laboratory at Brigham Young University. His studies focus on understanding the molecular interactions between follicular dendritic cells (FDCs) and HIV. Specifically, we examined the contributions of two FDC receptors, CD32 (FcγR) and CD21 (CR2), that played significant roles in the trapping and long-term maintenance of HIV.

My first project was molecular cloning of HIV. We received samples of lymph nodes from HIV infected patients. I isolated the HIV virons and the RNA, and performed reverse transcription. After making cDNA, I PCR amplified the products, inserted the amplimers into vectors, and inserted them into bacteria. I then sequenced the inserts in the vectors and performed phylogenetic analysis of the HIV genome. This work showed that the HIV genome from one lymph node is not the same as another, and that the genome in the same lymph node is very similar. These findings were consistent with past research. This project was used to train me in basic laboratory techniques, and double-check the findings for a paper that is still in the process of being published.

My second project examined different pathways of FDC activation, and if FDCs up-regulate or down-regulate CD32 and CD21 through the different pathways. I isolated FDCs from human tonsillar tissue through positive selection using a FACS machine. To activate the cells, I incubated the FDCs with lipopolysaccharide (LPS), antibodies, complement, immune complexes, immune complexes+complement, neutralizing HIV antibody immune complexes, or neutralizing HIV antibody immune complexes+complement. After the incubation, I extracted the RNA from FDCs, performed reverse transcription, and then analyzed the cDNA with real time PCR. I found that each of these known immune system activators up-regulated CD32 and CD21 at differing degrees. During this project, I also incubated FDCs with alpha-1 antitrypsin. We found that alpha-1 antitrypsin deactivates FDCs, but we did not know why it deactivated these cells. These findings focused our group’s research on determining the intracellular pathways of activation through CD32 and CD21.

My third project focused on discovering the proteins associated with CD21 on FDCs. I hypothesized that CD21 on FDCs is associated with similar proteins as CD21 on B cells, meaning that the B cell co-receptor (CD21/CD19/CD81) is on FDCs. The B cell co-receptor could then activate FDCs in the same or a similar intracellular signaling pathway as B cells. The experimental protocol that I designed was to use fluorescently labeled antibodies to CD21, CD19, and CD81, and then use FRET analysis to determine if the proteins are associated with one another. If they were associated with one another, we would then perform protein cross-linkings and immunoprecipitations to determine the intracellular pathway of activation, and establish if it was the same or similar to the B cell co-receptor activation pathway. I grew hybridomas for CD21, CD19, and CD81, isolated the antibodies, and fluorescently labeled them. Then I isolated B cells from peripheral blood mononuclear cells (PBMCs) through positive selection using a MACS machine, and I isolated FDCs with the same methods as my second project. After separation of the cells, I incubated them with the fluorescently labeled antibodies, used a confocal microscope to perform FRET, and analyzed the results. When I left the laboratory, I had performed some preliminary trials without the α-CD81 antibody, because we were waiting for the α-CD81 antibody to be produced by another principle investigator. Despite missing the α-CD81 antibody, the preliminary results were promising.

My fourth project studied the role of FDCs in activating CD4+ T cells with a latent HIV infection. Studies have shown that FDCs and FDC supernatant can activate latent T cells, but the mechanism is not known. In efforts to determine the mechanism, I isolated CD4+ T cells from PBMCs through positive selection using a MACS machine. After activating the growth signal with IL-2 in the isolated cells, I would infect the cells with an HIV variant. The HIV variant has a faulty envelope gene that can be used to infect the cell, but its progeny can never bud off the cell. If the infection were not latent, the cell would die from viral overload. However, if the infection were latent, the CD4+ T cells would survive. After the latent infection was established, I induced viral protein formation with differing amounts of PHA+Ionomycin or IL-2+IL-7, measured p24 levels within the cells with α-p24 antibodies, and created dose curves comparing activator versus viral expression. These dose curves were then compared to induction of viral protein formation when the latent T cells were incubated with FDCs and FDC supernatant. When I left the lab, we were continuing to induce latent T cells with FDCs and PHA+Ionomycin or IL-2+IL-7, and we were performing mass spectrometry on the FDC supernatant to determine the protein that is causing latent T cells to form HIV particles.

Currently, I am working in Dr. Jeffery Gildersleeve’s laboratory at the National Institutes of Health, specifically in the National Cancer Institute for a year long post-baccalaureate. His research focuses on developing carbohydrate microarrays to assist in analyzing cellular markers, tumors, and vaccine efficacy. I am working on developing a microarray to test epitopes and specificity of antibodies formed by the HIV/AIDS vaccine. Developing this microarray would give researchers a rapid determination of the efficacy of the HIV/AIDS vaccine in the different stage trials of FDA approval.

MD/PhD Statement

2010-06-07T18:37:00.002-04:00

Here is my MD/PhD statement. I had to explain why I wanted to be an MD/PhD.

I am pursuing the combined MD/PhD degree because I want to practice clinical medicine, teach, and perform research at an academic medical center. My initial interest in medicine was focused largely on practicing clinical medicine. I saw physicians curing people of diseases, and I wanted to be like them. This desire was further perpetuated through my shadowing experiences. I have shadowed a pediatrician, an oncologist, and a gastroenterologist. Interacting with doctors and patients has strengthened my interest in attending to patients. When I was shadowing the oncologist, I met a woman who had two mastectomies to remove breast cancer. At the post-surgical follow up, she was in tears because she said that she was no longer herself—I wished there was something that I could do. The doctor showed compassion for her, and helped her deal with her new situation. I want to be like him, and care for people in a clinical setting.

In addition to practicing clinical medicine, I want to educate others in medicine. While I have been a coach, a tutor, and a teaching assistant, I have developed a love for teaching. As a teaching assistant, I instructed a few lectures. These lectures were enjoyable to prepare and to teach. I liked sharing my knowledge with others and being able to help them understand the material presented. In addition, as a coach, I found satisfaction in teaching people of all ages how to swim properly and reach their goals. I know these attitudes will carry over into teaching at a medical school. I will find satisfaction in helping my students succeed inside and outside of the classroom, through formal instruction and through patient-physician interactions. Being an educator at a medical school will allow me to use my passion and desire for teaching to help others train to become physicians and properly care for their patients.

Another aspect of medicine that interests me is research, specifically researching immunology. I joined a biochemistry/immunology research group at the start of my junior year, and continued to work there for nearly two years. This group is focused on the biological mechanisms of HIV pathogenesis, reservoir formation in secondary lymphoid tissue, and increased infectivity with follicular dendritic cells (FDCs). The team is studying how to prevent or remove a reservoir of HIV from the body. We found a molecule that deactivates FDCs, which could possibly serve as a treatment for HIV/AIDS patients, and stop HIV reservoir formation in secondary lymphoid tissue. I have found research to be rewarding. It is challenging and I can discover something previously unknown, with the potential to help many who suffer from a particular disease. I want to continue to research to discover the unknown, and increase understanding of the human body and the diseases that affect it, given that basic research of the body and diseases will allow doctors to provide patients with a better quality of care and disease prevention.

Personal Statement 2011

2010-06-07T18:34:00.001-04:00

Here is my personal statement for my 2011 application. I hope you enjoy it! :)

It was the first swimming practice of my freshman year. I walked on the pool deck not knowing anyone, but determined to make the Brigham Young University intercollegiate swimming/diving team. The coach gathered us together and had us introduce ourselves. I discovered that I was one of ten people trying out for one position on the team. Fears crept in and I questioned whether or not I was good enough for the team. Despite my fears, I decided to try out because I knew I would regret not taking the challenge. For the next two months, I tried to prove to the coach that I deserved the one position. I remember the soreness of my muscles that were begging me not to jump into the water, run another stair, and lift another weight. However, I pushed through the soreness and watched as others quit or were cut from the team. The day of the last cut came, and the decision was between a diver and me. The coach pulled me aside to tell me the news; I did not make the team. I thanked him for the opportunity, and I was grateful for the experience and that I made it to the last cut. If I had quit that first day, I knew I would have regretted not trying out.

“I know I will regret not taking the challenge,” has been a saying that has guided me through my decision to become a doctor. At a young age, I watched my grandfather die due to complications from diabetes, and I was hospitalized and operated on for severe appendicitis. Throughout these experiences, I saw many physicians, and was in awe of their knowledge and skills; I wanted to be like them. When I entered high school, I enrolled in the medical sciences track, and learned the demands of the medical field. The coursework was challenging, yet I continued to develop my passion for medicine from the courses I took and my shadowing experiences. I loved learning about the human body and how to help people suffering from disease. Upon graduation, I was ranked first in the track, and I had earned a medical assisting license. A pediatrician I shadowed offered me a full-time medical assisting position. I knew that if I accepted this, I would have to postpone my undergraduate studies and medical school. I declined the opportunity because I wanted to play a more active role in medicine, even though this is the more challenging route.

Between being a biochemistry major, volunteering, researching, and shadowing, I had a demanding schedule in college. From this, I was learning how to be a doctor. However, it was not until I became head swimming coach that I fully understood how doctors feel after helping patients. While volunteering as the head coach, my demands were increased. Despite these changes, I found satisfaction in helping my team succeed and mature. I watched my swimmers improve their times, qualify for state, take third place at state, and learn life lessons. During this time, the stresses in my life seemed to decrease, and I enjoyed my busy life. This is how physicians must feel; they are satisfied with their challenging lives because they are helping others.

All of my preparation for medical school culminated in the early morning on January 1, 2010. After ringing in the New Year, I saw a man and a collapsed woman on the side of the street. They caught my eye and I told my friend to stop the car. The man ran up to us and explained that this woman was thrown out of a moving truck and was unresponsive. Seeing this man’s plight and the woman’s poor condition, I knew that I needed to help her. I ran to the woman and noticed that she was in worse condition than explained. She was foaming at the mouth, her eyes were rolled back into her head, and her breathing was shallow and labored. I used my knowledge from my experiences to try to help her, but it was not good enough. Following my unsuccessful attempt to wake her, I took her weak pulse and respiration rate and called 911. An ambulance arrived, and the EMTs quickly took over the situation. I watched them quickly regain her consciousness. As the ambulance drove off, I wished that I could have continued to care for her, and I was glad this woman received help. After this experience, I knew that I had made the correct decision to pursue becoming a doctor. There was no regret.

After getting cut from the swim team, I had no regret. I did my best and I did not quit. By trying out, I learned that closing one door opens many others. If I had made the team, I would never have been able to volunteer as a swim coach, perform research, shadow physicians, or manage a store. These experiences helped me understand what the best physicians do—they responsibly work to help others, despite the chance of failure. In addition, I learned the strength of the mind. My mind became a powerful tool that was able to push my body past my perceived limits. I was able to swim farther and work harder than I had before. This attribute will be vital in medical school and as a physician, because having strength of mind will give me assistance to persevere. I have learned valuable lessons by challenging myself, and I am excited for the future challenges I will face. Just as I would have been unsatisfied for not challenging myself to tryout for the swim team, I know that I would have regretted not taking the challenge to pursue a career in academic medicine.

I've Been Bad...

2010-05-12T13:48:00.002-04:00

I've been a bad blogger lately. I'll catch you up on the past 3 months or so of my life. So many different things have been going on!

Columbia and Baylor

2010-02-20T19:04:00.001-05:00

Last week was my first medical school interview. I headed off to the wonderful city of New York. I stayed there for five days (thank the Lord for a three day weekend) with a good friend who is working for Goldman Sachs, which was nice because my expenses were very low. All that I can say is that I love New York and would love to live in that city. It was magnificent. While I was there, I saw Wicked (amazing), the Financial District, Wall Street, the Wall Street Bull, the Meat Packing District, Chinese New Year in Chinatown, Little Italy, Times Square, the Metropolitan Museum, the Museum of Art Design, the Museum of Modern Art, and so much more! There was so much to do and I highly doubt I would ever get bored.

I thought that I would be overwhelmed with the city, but I wasn’t. When I first arrived at JFK, I was overwhelmed with getting on a bus to Manhattan and then getting my way to my friend’s apartment. After dropping off my suitcase, I navigated the subways to Columbia all by myself. I was very nervous about that, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I became quickly acclimated to the city.

Columbia is a beautiful place (I’m a sucker for huge hospitals). There was so much going on there that I loved. I loved the curriculum, the service opportunities, the free homeless shelter/clinic, the school, the people, the diversity, and again, much more. My interview was probably subpar. The reason for this was because the first question the interviewer asked me was why I wanted to become a doctor. I told him about my desires to help others, but I also told him about my desire to earn an MD/PhD. He then looked me straight in the face and asked me, “Why are you here then?” The reason he asked me is that an MD/PhD has a different application and interview than an MD. I told him about how my desire to earn a PhD recently developed. I then felt like I was fighting my way back from the grave for the rest of the interview. He was always questioning my motives of being there. I think that I had a decent interview, but not an amazing one. I hope that it works out so that I could go to Columbia, because I loved the school and the city.

I just barely returned from my trip to Baylor. I didn’t spend much time in Houston, but from what I saw, it reminded me a lot of Salt Lake City. This isn’t a bad thing, but I much prefer a bigger city and I prefer something that wouldn’t remind me of home. Don’t get me wrong. I do love Utah, but I am ready for a new place and a new adventure. Houston, being the fourth largest city in the US, didn’t seem like a big city. I still had a good time.

The interview was yesterday and I felt like I rocked the two I had. The first one was with a doctor. She was an amazing, strong woman from Germany (I’m a sucker for strong women). She and I had a lot in common and so the interview flowed very naturally. I had a great time talking to her and she seemed to enjoy our conversation. At the end of the interview, she told me that she was planning on giving me a very strong recommendation to the admissions committee. I’m really stoked for this! The second interview also went well. This time it was with a fourth year student. He asked me some ethical questions and my opinion on health care reform. He agreed what I said in my responses and told me that I gave a good strong response, whereas other interviewees gave lackluster comments. This made me extremely happy. After the seven hour long interview session, full of interviews and tours, most of the applicants headed to an Irish Pub paid for by Baylor. We had free food and some good times. I enjoyed my time there, but I was surprised how many people were getting hammered and smashed. I thought that people in the medical profession would know better, but I guess the socialization of the norms for my age group is still there. It made me uncomfortable so I left, especially because all of the people that I made friends with during the interview session were completely drunk.

I really loved Baylor too! The school was amazing and beautiful! It had basically everything the same as Columbia, except it was in Houston. I really like both Columbia and Baylor. I’m not sure how things are going to work out, but I’m not sure if I would go to Baylor because of Houston. If it were between Columbia and Baylor, I would definitely go to Columbia. I would be happy at either place, but I would be happier at Columbia. I still have one more interview at The Ohio State, so things might change. I still haven’t heard back from the NIH either and that will definitely change what direction I go. If I get into the NIH, I will definitely reapply as an MD/PhD, which I am currently working on.

What happens next year still scares me because my future is still a mystery. I can’t make long-term goals to achieve because I don’t know where I’ll be, but wherever I end up will be the best for me and it will be the best route for me to take in life.

Second Interview

2010-01-14T09:45:00.001-05:00

On Sunday, I received another interview at Baylor for February 19th. I'm very excited about this one because I would like to go to Baylor more so than The Ohio State (the interview is on March 17th). I don't know if I will get in so I've started cementing my back up plans.

Currently, I am working on my primary medical school application again. This includes writing another personal statement and boosting my resume with more activities, research, service, leadership, shadowing, etc. This will hopefully make me stand out as a candidate. I am also working on an application to do a post-baccalaureate at the NIH (National Institute of Health) in Bethesda, MD (near Washington D.C.) this upcoming year. My research professor believes that I have a good chance of getting into their post-baccalaureate program since I have a lot of research experience and good grades. We will see what happens. If I do get into this program and by some miracle get into medical school too, I will postpone my matriculation to medical school and do my post-baccalaureate at the NIH. This might give me the chance to for sure decide if I want to only be a M.D. or a M.D./Ph.D. I've seriously been considering doing a M.D./Ph.D again and if I receive the post-baccalaureate, I will probably head the M.D./Ph.D route.

Anyways, there is a quick update on my life. It's good! :)

Interview #1

2009-12-09T15:04:00.004-05:00

I got invited for an interview at The Ohio State! I'm so excited! It's on March 17. It's not one of my first choices, but it is school that I could definitely attend without regrets. They have a great program and great facilities... I will see what happens and if they like me during my interview. Now it's time to prepare for the interview that is a couple of months away.

I'm hoping for more interviews coming up soon, since I have my first one.

I feel like I can breath a little now...

Plans...

2009-11-27T15:03:00.001-05:00

I've set a course out for future plans if medical school doesn't work out this year. These are my plans after I graduate in April:

Move to California
Get a biomedical/biochemistry related job (I'm already working on this one and my cousin Val Pal is setting me up with her friend who works for a biomedical company)
Gain residency in California
Expand my resume
Volunteer at a charity medical clinic
Continue coaching swimming, if possible
Take the GRE
Take the GRE: Biochemistry Supplement Test
Reapply to medical school
If option 9 doesn't work again, apply to graduate school and move on

I hope all of this works out, if I'm not admitted into medical school this year. Thanks for all of your support. I do appreciate it.

Future, What Future?

2009-11-11T18:17:00.004-05:00

I am depressed about my future. I feel like I don't have one. I feel like my dreams are falling through the cracks or shattering into a million and one pieces. I just don't know what to do anymore. The interview season is almost over (2 or 3 months depending on the school) and I have yet to hear back from one medical school. It is getting beyond frustrating. I've tried really hard not to think about it, but it's all that I can think about lately. I really want to go to medical school and I feel like it is going to be the best place for me, but I guess the schools are thinking otherwise. Sigh...

I've started looking into taking the GRE and applying to graduate schools in biochemistry because I don't think I'm going to get into medical school. This is something that I don't want to do because I don't want to be in a lab my whole life. I want to be interacting with people and healing them. It looks like this isn't going to happen though. Sigh... Life is so depressing right now.

What did I do wrong? What should I have done differently? Should I call or email the medical schools to see about my application status?

I feel like a failure and failure is my biggest fear.

New Project

2009-10-28T11:33:00.002-04:00

I have never talked about my new research project in the lab and my new, new research project that I came up with on my own. Right now is a very exciting time in our HIV lab. We have a lot of new projects going on that are going to provide some answers to the mysteries behind HIV. My project consists of looking at CD21 and CD32 receptors on FDCs (follicular dendritic cells) and how they promote HIV infectivity. This can led to possible treatments of an HIV infection with these receptors. This project will also get a paper out of it that I will be a co-author on. It is a very fun project and I have already been learning a lot from it. I also get to cut up tonsils to harvest cells and work directly with HIV. Here's to the hope that I don't actually contaminate myself with it... knock on wood.

Because I have learned so much already from my project and immunology class, I started asking questions about some different things to Dr. Burton. I learned a lot from my discussion with him and I came up with a project idea with a little help from him. As I was asking questions about CD4+ T cell infectivity in the germinal centers (where FDCs are present), he told me about a type of CD4+ T cell that gets infected, but does not create more virus. We then had a discussion as to why it doesn't happen. This led to him asking me what I would do to test this situation. I told him my ideas and he agreed with me. If we figure how these CD4+ cells get infected, but do not create more virus, we could possibly come up with a treatment that would turn off infected cells. By turning off the cells the virus would not proliferate and then it would eventually die within the body. This could be another possible treatment! The best part is that it is my own ideas that pushed this project forward and I would be the primary author of the paper! We'll see if this happens and I get any results or not.

Possible Cancer Cure?

2009-10-28T11:13:00.003-04:00

The naked mole rat is immune to cancer. At last, scientists have figured out why

Naked mole rats are unique in many ways. For one, they're the only mammals with a hive mind, obeying their queen as if they were ants. Also, they feel no pain, an adaptation still not fully understood. But most importantly for us, they are the only animals that don't get cancer.

And now, a new study by scientists at the University of Rochester, New York, explains at last why these horrific animals, of all of the world's creatures, are immune to cancer.

According to the scientists, the mole rat's cells express a gene that tells cells to stop dividing. The gene, called p16, forms a second ring of defense against cancer. Most mammals, including humans, only have one gene, p27, protecting cells from cancer. And while most cancers know a way around p27, p16 stops them cold.

In the experiment, researchers gave cancer to a mole rat cell. However, unlike similarly altered mouse cells, the cancerous mole rat cell didn't engage in the non-stop proliferation associated with cancer.

Naked mole rats were already known for their extreme longevity, living much longer than other similarly sized rodents. This was thought to result from their ability to massively slow down their metabolism during times of privation, but this immunity to cancer almost certainly also contributes to their long lifespans.

Some other mole rat facts: their lips are behind their front teeth, they breathe mostly through their skin, and acid doesn't really burn them. I don't know what planet these things are from, but if they're helping cure cancer, I'm glad they're here.

Waiting...

2009-10-20T00:04:00.002-04:00

I am getting even more antsy as the days go by. Whenever there is an unknown number calling me on my phone, I secretly hope and pray that it is a medical school, but alas, it isn't. I have had that happen to me five times in the past week. Seriously, five times! It's pure torture! I really hope I get a call soon. It's driving me nuts! I just want an interview, that's all. Well, that and then an acceptance letter, but I'll take an interview anytime soon!

In other news, the first Timpview swim meet is on Wednesday... you all should come and cheer on the team! It starts at 3:30 at the Provo Rec Center!

Six Weeks

2009-10-14T11:50:00.003-04:00

It has almost been six weeks since I turned in my first medical school applications. I am getting very nervous. I need to receive a call in the next little while or I might freak out! Oh wait, I am. That means I might go insane! I need to get interviews! UGH! I am hoping that I will get a call or email this week because it will make my week so much better. My week has been horrible and it's only Wednesday! Double ugh!

Help!

2009-10-07T11:22:00.000-04:00

I am stuck on one of my last medical school applications because I am not sure what to write about. Here is the prompt: "What makes you special, someone who will add to the Mount Sinai community?" This prompt has given me a lot of trouble, more so than any other. This is because I need to write an essay that isn't full of cockiness and arrogance, yet at the same time I have to show that I am a unique person that will bring something to Mount Sinai Medical School. I turn this over to all of you because I am not sure what to write about and all of my friends and family say generic things to write about.

What do you think makes me special?

Swimming 09-10

2009-09-25T11:22:00.002-04:00

The swimming season is here and we finished our first week with fifty-five swimmers on the team! Personally, I think that it went very well. There was some drama to begin with... namely students and parents being angry that their swimmers couldn't swim because of lack of the correct papers. Luckily, that drama went away after the first day because the swimmers hated my dry-land set. haha! It was beastly and they were all so sore the next day. Things are working out with Provo and they have a new assistant coach that is more on top of things. I think that coaching will be the same as last year with Timpview doing all of the work with little help from Provo. The swimmers are also glad to get in the water, but they are not happy with how crowded it is. We have about twelve people in each lane. I know that people will drop out, namely Provo kids and I hope that our Timpview swimmers stay for the whole season. A lot of them are new and excited to swim. I hope this sticks. It looks like it is going to be a great year and full of fun!

Lovely Words

2009-09-16T01:35:00.002-04:00

"Your application to Washington University School of Medicine is now complete and is under review."

These are some of the most lovely words that I have read all day. I'm stoked about this. Washington University is in my top three choices for medical school. My other two are New York University and Johns Hopkins. Don't ask me the order of the top 3 because it is constantly changing, but as of right now, I am leaning more towards Johns Hopkins. I hope that I get into at least one of them! :)

Secondary Applicaitons

2009-09-13T14:16:00.002-04:00

Pretty much I'm stoked that I have four of my secondary applications in. My goal was to have all of them in by the end of August, but getting sick equaled me not feeling well which then led to lack of ability to write essays. This then caused goals not to happen and secondary applications not to be in. I have four in though. I'm really happy and I need to quickly work to finish my other nine. I just have to make sure they are done well and that they are in before the end of September... the deadline for me in closing in!

Random Hearings

2009-09-09T14:46:00.002-04:00

As I was walking to the library today, I was behind two very slow walkers. I don't like slow walkers and there was no way that I could pass them. I decided to listen to their conversation because I was annoyed with them and because they were talking very loud and animated. They were talking about graduate schools and what they were planning on doing after getting their degrees here at BYU. Then out of the blue, one of them says, "I'm going to get a Ph.D in research or something." I just about laughed out loud when he said that! Tell me, how do you get a Ph.D in research? I thought you always got one in psychology, chemistry, or something of the sort. Will some please educate me? I then thought to myself that if he is trying to get in graduate school, he will probably not make it because of stupidity. It made me smile and laugh on the inside really hard. It made my day just a little bit better. :)

The First Day of School

2009-08-31T11:23:00.004-04:00

Today is the first day of school. I'm pretty excited, yet at the same time kind of dreading it. I only have one more year left to graduate! I can't believe it! Seriously! This is the first year that I have only one class at 8 am... it feels weird... I was able to get up at 8 today. That never happens. I also forget lessons from the past today.

Never get to school later than 9 am if you want to get a parking spot that isn't five miles away from the beginnings of campus! ugh! I didn't get a parking spot and it made me so angry! My lot, let alone my traditional parking spot, was taken by some other person! Can you believe it? I can barely! It has had my name all over it for the past 3 years now... sigh... I guess times are a changing.

I've gone to my first two classes of the day. They were pretty uneventful. I know people in my first class, but I'm not really good friends with any of them. Maybe that will change and I will branch out and make some new ones. I'm not really excited for that class. Advanced Chemical Writing! Yeah, I know... Boring and probably hard. Oh well, I have to do it to graduate.

My next class was Immunology. I am way excited for this one. I have taken a liking to immunology. I don't know if it is because I work in an immunology lab, I enjoy the teacher, or if it just really interests me. What I do know is that I find it completely fascinating! I love learning how the body fights off infection and how it all works together. It is just amazing to me that the body can do so many complex things while it seems like it is pretty simple... the body is amazing!

After class, I met up with Meagan for lunch. It is her first day at the BYZOO. She seemed to be having a good day and wasn't too overwhelmed. Let's just see if she can stick with it and keep on going strong. We had a great chat at lunch and I felt old because she is now in college! I remember when she was a freshman in high school and I was a senior... I guess it's the same now that we are in college. It is still strange to me to think that it is my senior year...

Right now, I am working on my paper that was supposed to be finished in the middle of August... OOPS! Well, technically it is not my fault. I was sick for four weeks with I have no idea what and I couldn't really write, let alone think clearly. I need to get it in sometime this week so I don't get in too much trouble. I've written a lot on it and will continue to work on it... ugh! I just wish I didn't have to do it (I've also got medical school applications on top of it)! ugh! Oh well, it's good...

I'm going to keep updating this post as my day goes on... so keep on checking back for more updates on the first day of my senior year! :)

Jordanelle Triathlon!

2009-08-23T18:05:00.005-04:00

Yesterday, I competed in the Jordanelle Olympic Triathlon and it was pretty much amazing! I absolutely LOVED it! It was definitely one of the hardest things that I have ever done in under three hours, but so worth it. For those of you who don't know, it is a 1K Swim, a 40K Bike, and a 10K Run. I did that just under 3 hours with a time of 2:58.15. I was hoping to be under 3 hours and I accomplished my goal. I placed 8th in the 20-24 age group, 93rd out of the men, and 135 overall. I'm pretty proud of my accomplishment. I was also one of the first people out of the water (only about a minute behind the leader). It is something that I definitely want to do again or possibly an Ironman. I've always wanted to do an Ironman, but I know that I won't have much time in medical school and after that so it will have to be in the next year. We'll see if that happens. Here are some pictures of me competing...

It was a lot of fun because I was able to compete with a lot of friends. Here is a shout out to Kanani, Leilani, Analyn, Jeff, Clarissa, and Liz AKA Team Timpview! Good job yesterday! We rocked the triathlon! :)

Tired

2009-07-17T11:13:00.003-04:00

I'm so tired right now... There so many things that I've been doing that I just want it to be summer because what I am doing is not summer. I am training for a triathlon right now which involves at least 30 minutes a day of working out. I don't really mind that but it makes me tired because the only time that I have to work out is in the morning at 6 or 6:30. Then I head off to school and work all day. Then I come home, do homework, maybe read a book if I'm lucky, go to bed, and do it all over again the next day. I was totally wrong about doing classes this summer. It's killing me! I'm only taking HEPE and D&C which are easy classes but I don't have the motivation to learn the material. I just do what is necessary to get an A in both classes.

Another random tidbit is that I am swimming at state this year! The club team that I am coaching for needed another relay member so they chose me. I have been working out and I am actually really excited to compete again. Relays were always my favorite part of swim meets besides swimming the 400 IM and 200 Back. It's going to be a rocking good time!

Yet another random tidbit is that I am going to the Jack's Mannequin and Fray concert tomorrow! I am so excited! I have loved Jack's Mannequin and The Fray for years, but I have loved Jack's Mannequin more and for a longer period of time. It's going to be amazing! I'm going with Liz and Meagan. You can expect some good pictures to be posted from the concert! Hopefully these to exciting events will give me the energy to finish out the semester and have a real summer for a couple of weeks.

Oh! I almost forgot! I was also made head coach of Timpview High School swim team! I'm pretty stoked about that. It is going to be awesome and were are going to have an awesome year. That has also required me to do A LOT of work. I'm hoping that I can get everything settled before the school year starts so that it does not put a lot of stress on me.

Personal Statement... Please Vote!

2009-07-03T15:24:00.000-04:00

Here are two drafts of my personal statement for my application. Please vote on which one you like better. They are very similar, but they are structured differently. Thanks everyone! :)

Choice #1

I almost died at the age of ten. The first night of spring break I became very sick. My parents thought it was the flu because I had nausea and abdominal pain with a high fever. Later, I started throwing up and all my symptoms became worse so my parents took me to the hospital. After a series of tests, the doctors determined that I had appendicitis. The attending surgeon was already performing several other surgeries and did not have enough time to perform mine. The on-call surgeon refused to come in because he had to be to the airport early in the morning. The doctors could not find anyone to operate. The hospital called other hospitals to see if anyone would operate on me. In the meantime, my condition was worsening. Finally, a surgeon agreed to help, but he was in another hospital thirty minutes away. He was about to end his shift, but he agreed to wait for me. By the time we made it to the hospital, my appendix was close to bursting and the surgery had to be performed immediately. This surgeon was the first one to inspire me to become a doctor because he waited for me and saved my life. More importantly, he taught me to treat others how I wanted to be treated.

Recently, my old gastroenterologist did not treat me how I want to be treated and I suffered. A year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. I was terribly sick for about a year and was not showing any signs of getting better. My doctor performed test after test on me and thought my Crohn’s was in remission even though I was still in pain. After one of the tests, he told my parents that I was making everything up. After that accusation, we changed doctors. The new doctor performed the same tests and found similar results as the previous doctor, but he still believed me. He promised me that he would continue working with me until I started feeling better. He eventually discovered that my current medications were not having their full effect. He then prescribed new medications and I have progressively gotten better. Now, I am feeling much healthier and I am almost back to my normal self. As I have dealt with this new doctor, I have been further inspired to become a doctor because he treats me how I want to be treated.

When I am sick, I want to be treated with the best treatments, the best care, and therefore the best doctors. This means that I will try to become the best doctor that I can be and go the extra mile so that I can give my patients the best care. To me, the best doctor is one who is nice, willing to listen, and concerned for his patients. He is willing to spend time with his patients and help them in any way possible. This type of doctor would also be willing to do research and work until the problems with the patient are solved. He also will not give up or claim that the patient is wrong if he cannot discover the answer. Most importantly, the best doctor has a love for others and wants them to live better, healthier lives. This is the type of doctor that I want to be treated by and this is the type of doctor that I will strive to become.

All throughout my life, I have tried to treat others the best that I can. This is evident in my dealings with people of all ages. When I am working with my younger swimmers on the Utah Valley Aquatics team, I give those children the attention they need to become the best swimmers that they can possibly be. I work with them and I want them to succeed. This attitude is carried over when I am volunteering for Timpview High School swim team. I want to help the students achieve their goals and dreams. There are times when I get up at 4:30 AM to meet with them and give them one-on-one instruction. Also, I am able to help them in personal aspects of their lives. They know that I am there to help them. I give the same treatment when I am helping customers in Poco Loco Swim Shop. As manager and store clerk, my job is to try to make the customer satisfied so that they will return in the future, and this is done by helping them. Then when they return to the store, the customer knows that I am there to assist them. Finally, volunteering at the retirement home, I spend hours listening to the elderly. I hear their life stories and see the happiness on their faces when I show interest in their lives. Besides talking with them, I also make crafts with them and I have the pleasure of seeing the joy on their faces in performing a simple activity with them. I go the extra mile to treat others in a good way because this is how I want to be treated. As a doctor, I will carry this exact same attitude in my practice.

We need more doctors go the extra mile and treat others with the best care, which is why I want to become a doctor. I have personally felt the effect of two doctors who have gone the extra mile to help me and treat me. From their care and examples, I have been emulating them and treating others how I want to be treated. I have seen profound effects from doing this. I know that I can help many people by becoming the best doctor and treating people with the best care.

Choice #2

When I am sick, I want to be treated with the best treatments, the best care, and therefore the best doctors. This means that I will try to become the best doctor that I can be and go the extra mile so that I can give my patients the best care. To me, the best doctor is one who is nice, willing to listen, and concerned for his patients. He is willing to spend time with his patients and help them in any way possible. This type of doctor would also be willing to do research and work until the problems with the patient are solved. He also will not give up or claim that the patient is wrong if he cannot discover the answer. Most importantly, the best doctor has a love for others and wants them to live better, healthier lives. This is the type of doctor that I want to be treated by and this is the type of doctor that I will strive to become.

Treating others how I wanted to be treated has been a big part of my life since my first interaction with an ER surgeon. I almost died at the age of ten. The first night of spring break I became very sick. My parents thought it was the flu because I had nausea and abdominal pain with a high fever. Later, I started throwing up and all my symptoms became worse so my parents took me to the hospital. After a series of tests, the doctors determined that I had appendicitis. The attending surgeon was already performing several other surgeries and did not have enough time to perform mine. The on-call surgeon refused to come in because he had to be to the airport early in the morning. The doctors could not find anyone to operate. The hospital called other hospitals to see if anyone would operate on me. In the meantime, my condition was worsening. Finally, a surgeon agreed to help, but he was in another hospital thirty minutes away. He was about to end his shift, but he agreed to wait for me. By the time we made it to the hospital, my appendix was close to bursting and the surgery had to be performed immediately. This surgeon was the first one to inspire me to become a doctor because he waited for me and saved my life. More importantly, he taught me to treat others how I wanted to be treated.

Recently, my old gastroenterologist did not treat me how I want to be treated and I suffered. A year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. I was terribly sick for about a year and was not showing any signs of getting better. My doctor performed test after test on me and thought my Crohn’s was in remission even though I was still in pain. After one of the tests, he told my parents that I was making everything up. After that accusation, we changed doctors. The new doctor performed the same tests and found similar results as the previous doctor, but he still believed me. He promised me that he would continue working with me until I started feeling better. He eventually discovered that my current medications were not having their full effect. He then prescribed new medications and I have progressively gotten better. Now, I am feeling much healthier and I am almost back to my normal self. As I have dealt with this new doctor, I have been further inspired to become a doctor because he treats me how I want to be treated.

All throughout my life, I have tried to treat others the best that I can. This is evident in my dealings with people of all ages. When I am working with my younger swimmers on the Utah Valley Aquatics team, I give those children the attention they need to become the best swimmers that they can possibly be. I work with them and I want them to succeed. This attitude is carried over when I am volunteering for Timpview High School swim team. I want to help the students achieve their goals and dreams. There are times when I get up at 4:30 AM to meet with them and give them one-on-one instruction. I am also able to help them in personal aspects of their life. They know that I am there to aid them. I give the same treatment when I am helping customers in Poco Loco Swim Shop. As manager and store clerk, my job is to try to make the customer satisfied so that they will return in the future, and this is done by helping them. Then when they return to the store, the customer knows that I am there to assist them. Finally, volunteering at the retirement home, I spend hours listening to the elderly. I hear their life stories and see the happiness on their faces when I show interest in their lives. Besides talking with them, I also make crafts with them and I have the pleasure of seeing the joy on their faces in performing a simple activity with them. I go the extra mile to treat others in a good way because this is how I want to be treated. As a doctor, I will carry this exact same attitude in my practice.

We need more doctors go the extra mile and treat others with the best care, which is why I want to become a doctor. I have personally felt the effect of two doctors who have gone the extra mile to help me and treat me. From their care and examples, I have been emulating them and treating others how I want to be treated. I have seen profound effects from doing this. I know that I can help many people by becoming the best doctor and treating people with the best care.

Personal Statement

2009-06-29T23:14:00.000-04:00

This is my rough draft personal statement for my medical school application. Let me know what you think of it.

At the age of ten, I came close to dying. The first night of spring break I became very sick. Parents thought it was the flu because I had nausea and abdominal pain with a high fever. I later started throwing up and all of my symptoms became worse. After a day of being sick and the pain getting worse, my parents decided to take me into the hospital. I had a series of tests performed and the doctors determined that I had appendicitis. The attending surgeon was already performing several other surgeries and he did not have enough time to perform mine. The doctors called the on-call surgeon, but he refused to come in because he had to be to the airport early in the morning. There was not anybody who the doctors could find to perform the surgery. The hospital then started calling other hospitals to see if anyone would perform it on me. In the meantime, I was getting much worse. Finally, someone agreed to perform the surgery on me, but he was in another hospital thirty minutes away. This surgeon was about to end his shift and he agreed to wait and operate on me. By the time we made it to the hospital, my appendix was close to bursting and the surgery had to be performed immediately. This surgeon was the first one to inspire me to become a doctor because of how he treated me.

This surgeon is in contrast to my old gastroenterologist. A year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. I was terribly sick for about a year and was not showing any signs of getting better. He performed test after test on me and he thought I was completely fine but I was still in pain. After one of the tests, he told my parents that I probably was making up all of my problems. At that moment, we decided to change doctors. When I went to the new doctor, he believed everything that I said. He performed the same tests on me and found the same results as the previous doctor, but he still believed me. This doctor was willing to continue working with me until I started feeling better. He eventually discovered that my current medications were not having their full effect. He then prescribed me new medications and I have progressively gotten better. Now, I am feeling much better and I am almost back to my normal self. As I have dealt with this new doctor, I have been further inspired to become a doctor because of how he treats me.

These two doctors taught me to treat others how I want to be treated. When I am sick, I want to be treated with the best treatments, care, and doctors. This means that I will try to become the best doctor that I can be and go the extra mile so that I can give my patients the best care. To me, the best doctor is one who is nice, willing to listen, and full of concern for his patients. He is willing to spend time with his patients and help them in any way possible. This type of doctor would also be willing to do research and work until the problems with the patient are solved. He also will not give up or claim that the patient is wrong if he cannot discover the answer. Most importantly, the best doctor has a love for others and wants them to live better, healthier lives. This is the type of doctor that I want to be treated by and this is the type of doctor that I will strive to become.

Treating others how I wanted to be treated has been a big part of my life since that first interaction with the surgeon. All throughout elementary school, high school, college, jobs, and everyday life, I have tried to treat others the best that I can. This is evident in my dealings with children, teenagers, adults, and the elderly. When I am working with my younger swimmers on the Utah Valley Aquatics team, I give those children the attention they need to become the best swimmers that they can possibly be. I am willing to work with them and I want them to succeed. In my time volunteering with Timpview High School, I want to help the students achieve their goals and dreams. There are times when I get up at 4:30 AM to meet with them and give them one-on-one instruction. I have also been more than willing to help them in many aspects of their life besides swimming. They know that I am there for them and that they only need to ask for my help. The same treatment is given when I am helping adults in Poco Loco Swim Shop. My job as manager and store clerk is to try to get the customer to return and this is done by helping them. Then when they return to the store, the customer knows that I am more than willing to help them. Finally, in volunteering at the retirement home, I have spent hours listening to the elderly. I have heard their life stories and have seen the happiness on their faces when I have shown interest in their lives. Besides talking with them, I also make crafts with them and I have the pleasure of seeing their joy in doing such a simple task with them. I go the extra mile to treat others in a good way because this is how I want to be treated. As a doctor, I will carry this exact same attitude in my practice as well. I believe that we need more doctors like this and this is why I want to become a doctor.

Tri Time!

2009-06-16T00:04:00.002-04:00

It's official. I signed up for the Olympic distance Jordanelle Triathlon. I'm pretty much excited and I'm excited to be doing it with Kanani! Training has already been sort of going on but now that I'm actually signed up, I'm going to be more dedicated. I'm going to try to start biking wherever I go. I'm going to be swimming on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Then on Tuesdays and Thursdays I will be hitting the gym to pump some iron or run. It's going to be good to get back into really good shape and maybe I'll even think about competing at the state meet for swimming this summer too.

I think that I can get a sponsorship from the good ole Poco Loco Swim Shop or at least have the store put our logo on my butt so I can be a swimming, running, and biking advertiser to bring in some awesome business. We'll see what happens! It's TRI TIME!

The Night of Challenges

2009-06-13T16:27:00.003-04:00

Last night was a blast and half! There were a lot of things that people challenged me to last night and of course I accepted.

The first one was a race against Chace and Jesse in a 4x100 relay except they did a 2x200. My relay team was Ben, Me, Rebecka, and Calvin. Those boys thought that they could beat us... yeah right! They only expected me to go about a 56-58, but I showed them wrong and went about a 52! hahaha! I was awesome! We beat them about by 2 seconds! I went second and got a huge lead on Chace... over a body length and my goggles fell off. I'm pretty much awesome because of that. Those boys were really angry because we beat them and claimed that we had stacked our relay. I personally don't believe that because we only beat them by a little bit. They were just being sore losers. Then after a little warm down. Chace challenged me to a 50 back. Isabela and Calvin joined us in this race. Chace and Calvin pretty much tied from what everybody said and they barely out touched me. I'm feeling pretty good knowing that I can still kind of swim.

The second challenge came at Isabela's going away party at Laser Assault. Chace challenged me again thinking that he could beat me... I don't think so! We were on different teams and my team, the green team, dominated! We beat Chace's team and I came in first. Chace did come in second, but I still wasted him, even though he was cheating for part of the game. He and his team would hang out by our bases and shoot us as soon as we have recharged. They were such cheaters. I think they were doing this because we were beating them and Chace hates losing. It was a lot of fun.

The last challenge came at Sammy's after Isabela's party. Me, Texas Toast, Isabela, McCall, and McCall's cousin Nicole went there for pie shakes to celebrate our victory, except Texas Toast because she lost. The place was packed because there was a concert going on outside of the restaurant, but we still went in anyways because who can pass up a pie shake? Nobody I tell you! We were sitting there having a good time chatting and taking pictures. We then noticed one of the waitresses had amazing feet skills. She kept using her feet to open and close things while she had her hands full. We complimented her on her amazingness and then she became really embarrassed. She then brought us our shakes under the name "Blake." She then started to chat with us about this band with the name of vampires in it. I can't remember the name. Then she went on her way with her amazingness and later brought McCall some bottle caps. We decided that we were going to tip her. This is when the next challenge came. McCall dared me to write my number on a napkin and put it in the tip. She didn't believe me that I would do, but I did. I handed her the tip of three dollars, but she said she couldn't take it personally, but to put it within the tip jar. I did this and McCall told her that there was a surprise inside of the tip for her. We walked out. The surprise in the tip was a napkin with my number. My message said to her, "Vampire girl! Call me! 801-..... -Sean." It was good times. We then took some more pictures and I said my goodbye to Isabela.

The things that I learned yesterday is that I never back down from a challenge because I have no shame and way too much pride!

The Score Is In...

2009-06-04T14:00:00.001-04:00

The score is in... I actually got it on the 2nd... I haven't had time to post my score because I have been CELEBRATING! :) I met my goal of a 35 and got a 36! I'm so stoked! I can't really even describe all of the feelings I'm feeling right now. It is just amazing! I DID IT!

For those of you who don't know, the MCAT is graded out of 45 and on a curve. The average of the test is 24 and the average of getting into medical school is about a 30. Getting a 33 on the test puts you in the 90th percentile of those who took the test and get a 36 puts me in about the 95th-96th percentile! I'm way excited with my score! All of my hard work paid off and I can go to a lot of good schools and hopefully receive some scholarship money! All that I have to do is finish all of my applications and get them in. I'm hoping to get all of them in by the end of July. Then it's waiting for interviews and then acceptance letters. It's an exciting time in my life right now and a great adventure! I'm on the road to fulfilling what I believe my purpose here in life is.

Thanks everyone for you support! :)

Tomorrow...

2009-06-01T23:06:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow might be the big day that I get my MCAT scores back! The projected release date is tomorrow so we'll see if they actually send it out tomorrow or not. I'm excited and will let you all know how it goes.

"I Need The Missionaries"

2009-05-30T12:33:00.000-04:00

I was just in a study group in the MARB working on a project when all of the sudden a man came in yelling, "I need the missionaries RIGHT NOW!" I was really surprised and thought he was kind of crazy, but I started talking to him to find out why he needed the missionaries. He told me that he was hard of hearing and came all the way from Omaha, Nebraska to see the missionaries. I was surprised that he came out here. I told him that there were probably missionaries out there that he could have met with. He believed them to be "stupid" because they were not at a college and he wanted the "smartest" ones. I showed him where their office was and we knocked. Nobody was there. He started freaking out and I found a note on the door that had their numbers.

I called the Elders, but a Sister answered the phone... maybe they got their numbers mixed up when they wrote it down the paper (I don't know). I talked with the nice Sister and told her the man's story. He wanted to meet with them as soon as possible because he needed them. She told me that she and her companion could meet with him at 11 today. He was really excited. I have never seen someone so excited in my whole life. He looked like he won a million dollars. The Sisters asked for my name and number which I gave them and they politely thanked me for doing what I did. We then got off the phone. He then asked what time it was. I told him it was about 9:30 and that he had a couple of hours to kill. He seemed kind of defeated. I told him that it will be here a lot sooner than he thinks and that he could walk around campus while he was waiting. He decided to do this. I went back to my study group and I haven't been able to stop thinking about him.

Life is interesting and I love the random people I meet because they teach me new concepts everyday. This man who is hard of hearing and who traveled across the nation taught me today that you can never have too much faith in God. In fact, he taught me that you can never have enough. It amazes me that he had the drive and courage to come out here from Nebraska because he wanted to meet with the "smartest" missionaries. He has to have a lot of faith to come out here on a whim to probably join the LDS Church.

What To Say And Tell...

2009-05-29T10:27:00.004-04:00

I really don't know what to say and tell! There has been so much going on in my life right now that it is totally insane. I have been really busy with school, friends, and work! I have been having so much fun since I finished my MCAT! By the way, I am supposed to get my scores back on the 2nd! I'm so excited! I hope that I got above a 35!

I have found a new love and it is... glow in the dark ultimate frisbee! It is pretty much amazing! I absolutely love it. I've played it a couple of times since I finished my MCAT and I keep craving it. I can't believe how much fun it is. My friend Margaret introduced it to me and I'm so glad that she did, but I'm so sad that she is leaving for her mission soon. She, however, promised me that we will play it a lot before she leaves so it will all be good.

Speaking of love, I know some of you might be curious about my love life and about my "forbidden lover" or "FL" as my friends like to call it. Well, nothing happened. It was essentially over before it started. We sort of went out on a date and realized that it would not work out so we just decided to be friends. We have hung out a couple of times since that first date (if you can even call it that) and it has been a blast! I'm sort of sad that it didn't work out, yet at the same time it's nice that it didn't. FL lives up in SLC so it would be difficult to have a relationship because of that. FL is also finishing a Master's in Exercise Physiology or something of the sort and then applying to medical school. Then at the same time, I haven't been in a relationship for a very long time... about a year now and I miss having someone. Oh well, I'm happy that we are still friends.

Another snippet of information is that the people in my class really hate me because I keep setting the curve really high. The first test I got a 96% while the average was a 70%. Then I know that they are really going to hate me because last night I took the second test and got 100%. Oops... Oh well, I don't really care. It's their own fault for not studying. What can I say? I'm a perfectionist and an overachiever. It's what I do. hahaha! I just hope that they don't hate me too badly because I still have to go to study groups with 5 of them...

In other news, I am coaching with the UV Rays again. They contacted me because the head coach is on vacation for a month and another coach is going to be having a baby in July so they needed help. It will only be for the summer but I'm glad to be back because I missed a lot of the kids. Also, I'm most likely going to be head coach of the Timpview swim team next year. Brian officially quit. The only problem is that instead of just hiring me as head coach, they have to open the position to everybody and do interviews for the position. Brian gave me an awesome recommendations, but I'm still kind of afraid that I won't get the job. One of the reasons why I'm afraid is due to the fact that I am very young. I'm 21 and they might see me as fresh out of high school still since I went to Timpview. They might also think that I cannot handle the job and the kids. My other fear is that I can only do it for a year (because I'm planning on going to medical school next year) and that they want someone more long term. There is nothing that I can do about either of these problems. I hope they see me for the awesome coach that I am. If I don't become head coach, I'm not going back to the team because I don't want to coach under someone who will probably be less capable than me or have a completely different coaching style than me. Let's just hope I get the job! :)

That's about it right now. I'm pretty busy with life but I'm loving it. I'm working on my medical school applications and getting all of my letters of recommendations ready. It's a fun and exciting time! I'll let you all know my scores when I get them back next week!

PS I'm reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens at the moment and absolutely love it! I recommend it to everybody!

Quote of the Day

2009-05-22T10:23:00.002-04:00

"We think that when we are driven out of the usual path, everything is over for us; but it is just here that the new and the good begins. As long as there is life there is happiness. There is much, much before us!"
-Tolstoy

This was the quote of the day in my gmail account that sometimes pops up in the little "sponsored link" box. I thought it was good and would share it with everyone.

Now I'd like to know your thoughts on it and then I'll share mine... :)

PS I'm going to do a real update soon... probably sometime this weekend or after my test next week.

It's Over!

2009-05-05T22:11:00.000-04:00

My test is over! I am so happy and so excited at the same time. A lot has happened since I took my test on Saturday. I have so many good stories! I love being free for the moment.

Let's talk about my test. It was very difficult. It was harder than the practice tests that I took, but I still felt like I did really well. On the physical science section, I finished the last section with only a minute left when I usually finished with ten or more minutes left on the practice tests. I felt like this section was a lot harder than the practice test and I was sad that I couldn't go back and check my answers like I normally have time to do. I hope that I did well on it compared to the rest of the nation. Then came the verbal reasoning section. This section is definitely my crux. I usually feel like I always do well on it. The scores, however, sometimes say the opposite. I felt really good about it so I'm hoping that it transfers over into a good score too. Next came the writing section. I felt pretty good about both of my essays, but I really didn't have time to proofread them since I finished them with only one or two minutes left. Last came the biological science section. This section felt amazing! I felt really good about. It was definitely more difficult than the practice tests that I took, but I finished early and was able to go back to check answers. I think that this section went well. Overall, I feel great about my test. It was hard and I know that I put forth the time and the effort to get a good score on it. I feel confident that I did well. Now, it's just a matter of waiting a month until I receive my scores.

I just want to say thanks to everyone out there who prayed for me, fasted for me, sent good luck wishes, and any support! You are all amazing and I love you to death! Thanks for being my friends! :)

Sad Story

2009-04-17T20:21:00.003-04:00

Today has been a day of highs and lows. I first felt amazing with my grade on my physiology final and then when I was studying, I felt perfectly fine. I felt like I really needed to go the retirement center, where I volunteer at least one a week, today. I wasn't planning on going, but I know that it was worth it--even though I feel like crap after going.

Today, I met a brand new lady who just moved into the center. I'll call her Lucille. As, I was waiting to help out with the activity. She walked past the room I'm sitting in three times bawling her eyes out. After the third pass, I walked up to her and started talking to her. At first, she was very standoffish because she thought I was a worker there. Then when she found out that I was just a visitor, she warmed up to me. I asked why she was crying and what I could do to help. She then went into a rant and a rave about how she hated living in the center and how lonely she was. She had only been there for a week and she said that nobody liked her and nobody would visit her. Instead of helping with the activity, I took her for a walk. She ranted and raved the whole time and kept telling me the same things over and over again (I'm pretty sure that she has Alzheimer's) . I sat and listened to her quietly. I felt so bad for her. I wanted to cry with her, but I held back my tears to show her that everything will be okay or at least I hoped so.

I'm not sure if this is true or not, but she told me that her family tricked her into coming to Utah--she was supposed to live with her daughter here. She lived there for a week before they took her to the center. This story wanted to make me cry even more--she felt like a prisoner. After our walk, we went up to her room. I have been in other rooms and they are usually decorated and nice. Her room had a bed and a TV. That was it. Her family really didn't provide her with anything to make her room look nicer. We sat and watched an episode of "I Love Lucy" and then it was time for dinner. I usually go when it's dinner time because I'm not allowed to eat with them, unless I want to pay. I walked her down to the dining room and was telling her goodbye. She then burst into tears again because she said that she didn't want me to leave. I told her that I would stay and I paid for my dinner. It was really good to be there for her. Then when I really had to leave after dinner, I hated telling her that I had to go. I told her about my finals and the test I have to take tomorrow and she grudgingly said goodbye to me. I gave her a big hug and told her that I'd be back to visit her.

I think one good thing came out of me leaving when I did. There was another lady who I'll call Myrna who came up to ask me about this new lady. I introduced them and I think that they went for a walk together--I'm not sure because I left after I introduced them. I hope that they did because Myrna will be a good friend to her and hopefully help her make some friends. I'm glad that I decided to go instead of staying at school and studying because I know that I might have made her life/day/week a little bit better by being there for her today.

I don't know why I still feel awful though. That whole situation put a damper on my day, even though I know what I did was good for her and for me.

Anyways, that's my sad story. Back to the books...

Annoyed

2009-04-17T14:47:00.003-04:00

So it is finals week and everybody has decided to take over my beloved study grounds. UGH! I hate them. They drive me insane and are absolutely annoying. They take my favorite spots to study. They bring big groups of people who talk really loud in no talking zones--I don't mind them being there, but it's when they talk that puts me over the top. They take all of the computers. They bother you when you are trying to concentrate. UGH! Just shut up and leave me and my study areas alone! Please! I'm just trying to do well on my finals and study for the MCAT.

PS I totally rocked my Physiology final today--a 97%! Finals started off on a good foot! :)

Surprises

2009-04-06T00:28:00.002-04:00

I have been surprising myself a lot lately. These are just a few of my surprises (I might go into detail later).

I've developed a crush on someone who I should not be crushing on
I think that the person who I am crushing on is also crushing on me
I told a very close friend something I never imagined telling her
I'm going to tell someone else the same thing I told my friend
I got a 33 on my practice MCAT on Saturday
I can determine what kind of pain and what kind of bowel movement I'm going to have based on the sounds my stomach is making
I snapped and said something I shouldn't have said to a mom of one of my swimmers (this was due to a lot of stress from my week of hell--four midterms and a paper all in one week)
I have had an even stronger desire these past couple of weeks to go back east for medical school
I am a very crafty person (the type of person who is good at making crafts)
I find a strange peace in studying hard all day and night

That's what been on my mind or what I have done lately. I know that these are really vague, but I'll probably go into detail on some of them at a future date... within the next few days. If you want me to describe one of these, just let me know and I might decide to discuss it.

Overly Stressed?

2009-03-31T19:31:00.000-04:00

As many of you know, I have been still having problems with my Crohn's Disease. It's usually nothing too big, but lately it has been a huge problem. I never miss school--even when I was first diagnosed, I went to school when I was in severe pain. Then all of the sudden, the past couple of weeks have hit me like a brick and I've missed four days of school. Some mornings I wake up and feel like I have been hit by a car, train, or something. I can barely move because I'm in so much pain and/or I just feel so crappy that I don't want to get up--knowing that I have to. None of this is a good sign.

My doctor tells me that the medication I'm on is working just fine and that he can see no active Crohn's Disease. He has seen other potential problems but they are just potential and they should not be causing me that pain that I'm in. He even had the audacity to ask my mom if I was faking the pain just to get attention when I was knocked out with anesthetics. Thankfully my mom stuck up for me and put the doctor in his place. He thinks that I might be overly stressed. I took a stress test and everything came up fine. I will admit that I do have my fair levels of stress due to school and what not, but that is normal levels and it is usually every once in a while. I'm not sure if he thinks that I was lying on the test or not, but the only thing he thinks that is wrong with me is that I must be overly stressed and causing myself pain through IBS or small Crohn's flare-ups. He has given me IBS medication, but it has done nothing for me. I personally think that there is something more going on with my body. I shouldn't be feeling what I have been feeling for over a year now. It's really starting to bother me. I don't want to go take the MCAT when I'm feeling like crap because I know that I won't do as well. I need to do my best so I can get my 35 and go to one of my dream schools!

I've been trying to convince my mom to take me to another doctor, but she doesn't see the point. I think that I'm going to just go to one on my own so I can have another opinion. I think that there is something more wrong with me than the doctor thinks. UGH! Life sometimes really sucks.

What do you all think? Am I or do I seem overly stressed?

The MCAT

2009-03-27T15:25:00.000-04:00

It's been a very long time since I've updated. There are so many things that I want to talk about, but so little time (I'm actually taking a break from studying for a midterm right now to write this). I'll probably do a huge post soon talking about all of the latest and greatest events in my life that have happened in the past couple of weeks, but for right now, I want to focus on the MCAT.

Oh the joys of the MCAT. The MCAT is in almost a month for me now! HOLY CRAP! I can't believe it's already coming so quickly. It seems like it was just yesterday that I started studying for it, but I've really been studying for almost three months now! A lot of people have been asking me if I'm nervous. The truth is that I'm really not very nervous at all. Sure there are a few things that I'm nervous about, but I have always known that I was meant to be a doctor and that I will go to medical school no matter what (that sounds cocky, but it's true). I have been studying really hard and I have been taking practice tests for it. So far, my best score has been a 29 (it's out of 45 for those of you who don't know). My goal score is a 35. Right now, I'm at a national average score, but my scores on the different sections do not so average at all. I'm way above average on both of the Physical Science and Biological Science sections. I'm in the 90th percentile on each of those sections. Verbal Reasoning, however, is a different story. I'm scoring in the 50th percentile. UGH! What the crap? It's so frustrating to me right now. Obviously I'm not stupid, but I just can't do the Verbal Reasoning section very well. I have been working on this and my Kaplan teacher has been helping me out with it. I'm hoping to get my score up to at least a 10 in this section. I guess it's more like I need to get my score up to a 10 in this section or else I'm not getting into medical school, even though I have a national average score.

So yeah... it's a month away and I need to seriously crack down and Verbal Reasoning and hone my skills on the Sciences to definitely get my goal score of a 35. I know that I can do it and I have a feeling that I'm going to beat it!

Well, I need to get back to studying. I still have two more test this week... :(

Tragedy

2009-02-27T15:39:00.000-05:00

My life the past two days have been an utter tragedy! UGH! There have been so many things that have been going wrong and making life crappy. It all started yesterday...

Yesterday, I got a text from my mom telling me that I had got a package in the mail. I wasn't able to get home until 9:30 at night so I was excited all day. I knew exactly what it was--my black pair of jeans that I bought online on Saturday. I couldn't wait to get home and try them on--I have been wanting a pair of black jeans for a very long time and that is why I was so excited. I burst into the house after my MCAT class and ripped open the box. They were exactly what I wanted. I tried them on and they fit really well. I had my mom look at them to see what see thought of them. She told me that they looked good. Things, however, changed. I as I was walking to the bathroom to look in the mirror, my mom made the comment that she didn't notice how low the pockets were and that when I walked, the stitching (it being white) went into the creases of my bum. Then she changed her opinion on them. I noticed the same thing too and now I don't like them. It is a very sad story. I was utterly and completely let down.

Then today made it even worse! I had an amazing swim with Chace and had a good time doing that. Then I came to school. The first class was good. Then came the second class. We got our tests back and I felt like I did really well on the test. I look at my score and got an 81! I was so dismayed. I quickly looked over my test and the only reason was because of two stupid problems that I made mistakes on at the beginning that then ending up causing problems with the rest of the parts on that question. UGH! It made it even worse to know that I was average. I got the average score. I haven't done that since my freshman year--except when I was sick with Crohn's and admitted to the hospital (I failed a couple of tests then, but I don't count them because I was sick). It was such a tragedy and I was heart broken. I'm going to try to fit for some more points back on it.

The next tragedy came when I entered the computer lab. I decided I would look at my grades--bad idea. All of my classes that I had tests in last week, I totally rocked all of my midterms. This week I wrecked and did awful on all of them. I saw the test that I took yesterday and thought I did well on it. I got a 37/50. That really hurt. I got a C. I have never had a C on a test in my entire life! UGH! I think that the average was 36, but still! I'm average again. I'm going to that class in a minute and I don't want to go because I don't want to see my test. What made that score even worse was when I found out about my presentation I did for that class the same day. I thought I did really good on it, well the professor didn't think so. He docked me a lot of points and I barely got a 90% when the guy who went before me who didn't speak the whole time he was supposed and who couldn't answer questions got a 98%! I was really bothered with that. I answered a lot of questions and filled the whole time I was supposed to! WTF?!?!? I'm so angry and frustrated right now. I wonder if he mixed our scores up. I'm headed to that class right now, even though I don't want to. I'm not excited for happy to go. Oh well, such in life.

In other news, I'm ordering my state championship ring today, I'm going clubbing tonight, taking an MCAT practice test tomorrow, and I'm going disco roller skating tomorrow. I'm excited for all of this and hopefully it will get rid of this tragedy of my life.

6 Things I LOVE

2009-02-23T00:01:00.001-05:00

Kanani tagged me and I feel obligated to continue (I'll even format it like her), so here you go...

I LOVE swimming! It has been something I have done my entire life and I can get no greater pleasure than jumping into a pool and working out really hard. Kanani and I have been swimming together lately and it feels amazing!
I LOVE coaching! I find great pleasure in helping and watching my swimmers achieve the goals they set for themselves. I also love being there for them when the have their great successes or their failures. It feels like I am more than a coach to them--a friend, a teacher, and a person they can confide in.
I LOVE dancing, especially 80's dancing! I love letting it all loose on the dance floor. It is so much fun to go out and have a good time, especially when there are friends involved. I just can't get enough of dancing. When I need a break from homework, I usually blast some Madonna and have a little dance party in my room for about five or ten minutes to clear my mind.
I LOVE Madonna! I bet most of you saw that one coming. She is pretty much amazing. I can't really express my love for her. I've loved her music since I was young and I still love it. I went to her concert last November and it made my life complete! I was so happy for a long time after that. Sigh... If you saw my room and my phone, you'd know how much I love Madonna!
I LOVE medicine! I love every aspect about it. I love the challenge of it, the mystery, the complexity, the break-throughs, the human body, and much much more! Everything about it amazes me. There is also the bonus that you get to help people live better lives and hopefully change the world one person at a time. That is why I want to go into medicine!
I LOVE learning! There is just something about it that is so addicting for me. I love to learn new things and perfect my knowledge of the subjects I'm studying. That is why you can always see me studying. Another aspect of learning, is reading for fun, which I absolutely love! I have a list of books I need/want to read and I work on them when I need to take breaks from studying. There is so much to learn out there and I'd love to learn it all!

That's my list of things that I love. I don't know if I have six readers, but I know that I do have a few. So I tag Shannon, Danielle Dearden, Lacie, and whoever else reads this blog.

Valentine's Day

2009-02-22T23:29:00.000-05:00

This is a late post, seeing how Valentine's day was over a week ago now. I really don't care though because I have been killer swamped with tests and papers this week that I haven't really had time to post about my life. I sort of have time now so that is why I am posting and catching up. I have a couple of things I want to write about so be prepared... :)

This Valentine's Day was definitely one of my most favorite! It was a blast and a half! It's kind of funny how this all started out. Meagan asked me to go out with Danielle Harrison for Danielle. I found this to be weird, but I was cool with it. I found out later that Danielle was going to ask me the night Meagan asked me for her (from what I heard, Danielle got mad at her), so it was all cool and I was way excited! I had been texting Danielle all week--really looking forward to the great date. Then the topic came up of what we were going to do on said date. Well, the girls, who did the asking, were supposed to do the planning and that didn't really happen. Meagan and Danielle both called me for ideas on what to do on the date. I gave some pretty fun ideas and left it at that.

Friday night came around and I hung out with Chace and Cole because I made Chace a birthday dessert. They came over to my place and we played MarioKart... so much fun! We got talking about the date and how the girls still didn't know what they were going to do for the date. Us boys decided to pay for the date no matter what the girls decided and we were determined that it was going to be a rocking good time no matter what we did.

Valentine's Day came... It was around two and I still had no idea what was going on. I called Danielle... no answer. Then I called Meagan. She was still unsure about the plans, but we were going to definitely go to dinner at Macaroni Grill at 9 because that was the only time for reservations that they could get. It was so late, but that's ok... we were going to have a good time. Well, Meagan met up with Danielle and they called me. It ended up me doing the planning for the date. I decided that we would play "Where's Waldo and Waldina" in the mall before dinner, go to dinner, and then maybe watch a romantic movie. They like the idea so we went with it.

We all met at the mall and the chaos began! The game entails the couple dressing up in red and wandering the mall trying not to get caught. Once the couple is caught, the next couple dresses up and the other couple stays in place for two minutes. The game continues for however long you want it go and the couple with the longest time as Waldo and Waldina wins. The girls didn't seemed to thrilled about the idea at first, but they soon loved it. We were running all over the mall chasing each other down. Oh, it was so much fun! I hadn't had that much fun in a very long time. We played for about two hours and then headed dinner. Dinner was tons of fun too! We all drew pictures (I drew Barney at Danielle's request), had great conversation and great food. There was a little scuffle of who was paying and who was not, but it all got settled out and the guys ended paying like we determined. After that, we went to Cole's house and watched "Dan in Real Life." Then we headed home.

It was such a great night and I had a good time with all of my swimmers and friends. It was definitely one of the best Valentine's Day ever! :)

That Special Someone

2009-02-13T00:32:00.000-05:00

Everybody is on their quest to find that special someone in life. Guess what, I'm on that quest too--imagine that! Well, I am not looking to get married anytime soon, but wouldn't it be nice to have someone that is there for you right now? Oh yeah it would... Sigh...

Well, I have found someone that I am absolutely crazy about! I'm totally in love with her, but I don't think that she feels the same way. This is because she seems to see my as a best friend and at other times as a brother. She comes to me for advice, we talk to all hours of the night, she and I go out for lunches and dinners, we hang out in groups, we hug and tell each other that we love one another, and many other things, but her love for me in is a different way. Sometimes I just want to come out and tell her how I really feel--to tell her the truth and to stop hiding behind the mask I keep putting on. Other times I don't want to ruin the relationship we have, so I keep it hidden and suffer as I listen to her talk about other boys. I wish she felt the same way... Maybe she does and she is hiding it because she is afraid that I don't feel the same way about her. I want to be with her so bad right now--it sometimes drives me crazy!

Anyways, happy Valentine's Day everyone! I do have a date this Saturday--a girl asked me out, but I'll be the one paying because I can't let a girl take me out and pay and Valentine's day. It just isn't right! I'm sure I'll have some pics that I'll post along with stories from the date.

Again, happy Valentine's Day! :)

Tears of Joy

2009-02-08T17:52:00.000-05:00

This is my first blog, but I don't want to do any introductions to it or anything. I just want to get right into it.

This weekend was amazing! For those of you who don't know, it was the state swim meet and the Timpview girls were set to win. Friday they all swam great and pulled ahead of East, which wasn't supposed to happen until Saturday. Then on Saturday, it just kept getting better and better. Everyone did great and I was so proud of them. Timpview girls won state and our boys broke the top ten (I think that they got ninth)! Another great part about the night was that Meagan received the swimmer of the year award. I was so proud of her. I gave her a big hug and started to cry. She deserved it and I was so happy for her. I didn't really care about winning. All that I care about was that everybody did their best and that they were happy with their swims. This happened and we won the championship, so it was even better!

After all of the awards were handed out and Brian, Kanani, and I were thrown into the pool, we headed to Magelby's and had great conversation and a great dinner. Then we headed to the Timpview Valentine's dance and totally crashed the party! It was so much fun. This is definitely going to be a night to remember and I am glad that I was a part of it.

Way to go Timpview girls and boys!

PS: I am really excited to get a ring!